Resolving inner conflict Using NLP parts integration Technique

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Inner Conflict

How many times have you wanted to break a habit yet found yourself helplessly doing it?
How many times have you wanted to take an important decision but felt that you are clueless?

Whether it was a bad habit or an important decision it’s the inner conflict you are experiencing that prevented you form acting the right way. At some points in our lives we may run in a conflict where a part of us wants to do something while another part of us wants to do the opposite, see the examples below:

  • To Chocolate or Not to Chocolate: A part of you wants to be fit and to lose weight while another part of you wants to enjoy the taste of the yummy chocolate
  • To Exercise or not to exercise: A part of you wants you to become healthier by exercising regularly and another part of you wants you to enjoy relaxing in front of the television
  • To Be or not to be: A part of you wants you to quit your job and start your own business while the other part of you wants you to enjoy the current job’s security

Sometimes you may not be able to break a habit just because a part of you wants it. In this case the more you will try to break it the more will this part hold on to it and so the result will be returning back to the habit without knowing why.

Resolving the Inner Conflict

Even if you managed to ignore the needs of one of your parts you will still suffer from lack of inner integration and you will be full of suppressed emotions and unmet desires.

The solution to this dilemma is getting more understanding of those conflicting parts then working on uniting those parts together under a common goal. This may have been impossible before NLP came into existence but now its possible and even easy. (If you don’t know what’s NLP then check out the Neuro Linguistic programming section)

Parts Integration Using NLP

The following are the steps you should follow in order to unite your conflicting parts under one common goal. The technique is taken from NLP and its called parts integration or visual squash. Make sure you read all steps before applying the technique.

Note that you aren’t going to resolve the inner conflict on the conscious level but instead you are going to do it on the unconscious level and that’s why the below steps may require some imagination. (see the subconscious Mind rules for more information on this topic)

  • Step One, Identify the parts: Hold both of your hands in front of you So that your palms face the ceiling. Look at the first hand and imagine that you are holding the first part on it and try to imagine the shape of the part. Some people see it as a glowing ball, some see it as one of their parents and others see much more weird things so just visualize the shape that makes you most comfortable. Try to notice if the part has a weight or if It has a sound. Do the same for the second part. We are using symbols in here because your subconscious mind thinks using symbols.
  • Ask The first part about its Intention: look at the first part and ask it "why do you want to eat that chocolate?" the answer will be something like "Because I want you to enjoy the taste of chocolate" ask it again, "why do you want me to enjoy the taste?" the answer will be something like "because I want you to be happy". As you saw you should ask more questions until you determine the highest positive intention of the part
  • Ask the Second part about its intention go to the second part and do the same. Your main goal is allowing the two parts to agree on a common goal which was happiness in this case. The more you go up in the hierarchy of intentions the more will you find that parts are agreeing together
  • Bring them together: Talk to both parts and tell them that they both have the same intention and that there is no need for a conflict. If you were doing it right from the beginning you will notice that your hands are coming closer and closer until they touch. If your hands touched each other then hold them together firmly and this will send a clear message to your subconscious mind that the conflict was resolved. As a result the next time you won’t find that big resistance when you try to stop eating chocolate.

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