Why women don't like needy men

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Everybody wants attention right?

Everybody wants to feel important, that's a fact. But if that's true then why don't most women like the men who keep chasing them?

And if all women want love then why do needy men repel most of those women?
Before i answer that question let me first give you a brief idea about the way women think.

Women like strong, dominant and confident men. That's a part of every woman's psychological make up. Yes some women go through certain experiences that override those per-installed instructions in their minds but most of them maintain those instructions.

In my book The psychology of physical attraction i also said that women like men who seem like they can provide good protection for them and their offspring.

Up to this point there is nothing that could let a woman repel a needy man but the problem arises when women start interpreting the actions of certain man in certain ways that makes those men fall out of favor.

Let's see how this happens

Why women don't like needy men

Let's suppose that a man kept sending a woman messages all the time even though she was not replying. In such a case that woman might unconsciously think that this man is so needy and emotional that he can't handle her absence or rejection.

In other words this man seems to that woman like a weak man who can hardly stand emotional problems. And because women want strong men that kind of man is usually found unattractive.

Also most women will assume that the needy man can't attract women to him easily and that's why he became needy. After all ,according to a woman's logic, if a person had many women liking him he wouldn't have chased one of them like that. See also how men and women perceive attractiveness.

Needy men also seem less independent and less masculine. As i said earlier most women want a strong man who can protect them and when a man becomes too needy he seems weaker and less masculine to most women.

More calculations

In my previous article Why men play mind games i explained how women find desperate men less attractive compared to the less available ones.

It's a part of human nature to believe that what you can't get is much better than what you have in hand. When a man becomes very needy a woman believes that he is totally hers and as a result he seem much less attractive.

When that man gets compared to the dominant man who doesn't show much interest he always loses the comparison.
So what annoys women about needy men isn't just about the needy behaviour but it's also about what that needy behaviour means.

Yes in some cases that needy behaviour doesn't really indicate the absence of the good qualities women are looking for but in most cases women are right about that. The way women were designed to think makes the needy man much less attractive compared to the independent and uninterested man.

But what about the need of approval most people have?
Why don't women go for those needy men to get approved?
Simply because approval must comes from a person who seems worthy enough and according to most women being needy makes a man much less worthy.

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