How to forgive people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do we fail to forgive people?

There are hundreds of articles out there that talk about forgiveness and the importance of forgiving people. Most of them are good articles that try to motivate you to forgive someone by telling you how good forgiveness is and how you will experience inner peace when you forgive people.

The only problem is that they don't tell you how to actually forgive someone!! we sometimes fail to forgive people because a little part inside us refuses to do so.

Motivation may be a good temporary solution but as you lose the motive few days after reading an article you will return back to your original state and you will fail again to forgive those who hurt you.

How to forgive people

In order to be able to forgive people without feeling bad you must understand the underlying feelings that are preventing you from forgiving people. For example, sometimes people fail to forgive others because of ego issues, they feel that they were hurt and that they weren't valued the way they wanted to be valued.

In such a case reading one thousand articles about forgiveness wont help them at all unless they know how to fix their broken egos. Its the same case as when someone finds himself unable to forgive the person who dumped him after a breakup.

In this case trying to forgive the other person without dealing with these ego issues will yield no results. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that you will not be able to recover from a breakup unless you deal with your ego issues because they may be the real reason behind the bad feelings you experience after a breakup.

If you left those issues without taking corrective actions you may fail to recover from a breakup thinking that you loved the person while in fact its your wounded ego that is hindering your recovery.

Some other people fail to forgive others because they feel jealous. knowing that someone took from them the job they always dreamed of or the girl they always wanted to be with makes them jealous. This jealousy stands in the way of forgiveness and so those people never succeed in forgiving those who hurt them.

A third group may fail to forgive others because of self confidence issues. Forgiveness is always associated with strength and confidence, for if you weren't confident enough you may not be able to forgive someone as giving up one of your rights can make you feel insecure.

When 2knowmyself was few months old i got a mail from a man who used a very aggressive language because of wanting to know who i am. The man worked for wikipedia and verifying my identity was important for him because a link was placed in wikipedia pointing to 2knowmyself.com.

On that day, forgiving the man wasn't an option for me and i didn't even think of it. 2knowmyself was a new website and i wasn't feeling secure enough to forgive someone who was opposing it. Nowadays, 2knowmyself gets millions of visitors and makes me thousands of dollars per month, when i remember the story of any person who were opposing the website i feel that forgiving him is very easy. Its as if insecurity was standing in the way of forgiveness and as soon as i became stronger forgiveness became an effortless task.

The right way to forgive people

In order to forgive people you don't need motivating articles nor you need ones that tell you about the importance of forgiveness. You just need to understand the real emotions that are preventing you from forgiving someone like jealousy, insecurity, lack of self confidence and other emotions.

Forgiveness can only happen when you are strong and when you have enough sense of security to let go of one of your rights.

Removing emotional harm

Sometimes it can be very hard to forgive a person without first removing the emotional harm a person has caused. Many people for example fail to forgive their parents because they raised them in such a way that made them psychologically weak.

Now in such a case forgiving can be much easier for those people if they took actions to remove the emotional harm inflicted on them. If for example a person lost self esteem because of the way he was abused by his parent then in such a case building self esteem first will make forgiveness much easier for him. See How to forgive your parents

Once we stop the suffering that was caused to us by others we will find it much easier to forgive them since the feelings of hurt can stand in the way of forgiveness.

Understanding the intention behind the harm caused

In many cases you can forgive a person who harmed you by just understanding the intentions behind the harm. If for example you realized that your parents used to treat you badly because they believed that this can help you become a better adult then forgiveness will become much easier.

After all its the meaning that we give to the emotional harm we received that determines the amount of pain we feel. Once we see things in a different light forgiveness can become much easier. See also re-framing in NLP.

Building strength to forgive others

In my previous article Why a strong person can forgive others easily i explained how forgiveness can easily happen when you develop enough emotional strength.

In other words when you believe you are strong enough to remove the harm inflected on you by others then forgiving them will become much easier.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it's a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it's a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself. The book "How to get over someone in few days" was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded.

Want to know more?

How to motivate myself?

How to let go of my ego?

How to Deal with jealousy?

How to become self confident?

How to deal with insecurities?

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)






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