How to make people feel good

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to make people feel good

I got a mail from one of the website's readers asking me to write an article about supporting people in hard times. That's why i wrote the article How to make people feel better and part two which you are reading now.

All of us have friends, relatives and beloved ones who have been through hard times at least once in their lives and knowing how to make those people feel good is an essential skill that everyone is in need of.

In this article i will tell you about some of the incorrect practices people do when trying to support their beloved ones during crisis so that you can avoid them.

How to not make people feel good

If you avoided these mistakes then you will be able to support a person with your full potential and you won't find any trouble in making him feel good:

  • Change his self concept: The self concept is how a person sees himself. If someone believed that he is strong then he will act according to his self concept and will become really strong. One of the most famous mistakes people do when trying to support others is not trying to change their self concept to the better. Tell the person that he is strong and that he will be able to go through his problems and he will act according to that new self concept
  • Not reminding him of the possibilities: Sometimes we empathize with a person to the extent that we believe every word of his story not knowing that the person who is in a bad mood sees a distorted reality that has more obstacles than possibilities. By pointing out the possibilities to that person and asking him "what if" questions instead of acknowledging his reality you will be able to tune his mind into thinking of possibilities instead of obstacles and that would make him feel good
  • Blaming the person: Out of love lots of people blame their loved ones during hard times and that's the worst thing you could ever do to a person who is feeling bad. By blaming the person you will make him feel bad, think that there is no solution and you will be convincing yourself too that he can't be helped
  • Not allowing him to vent: Even if you solved none of the problems a person is facing still you can make him feel better by just allowing him to vent and talk about them. By allowing the person to talk about his problems you will be preventing him from suppressing his emotions and his overall mood will improve

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