why some people give advice they don't follow

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Giving advice and doing the opposite

I am pretty sure you know at least one person who keeps giving you advice but who in the same time does the opposite of what he says. If that person isn't really convinced then why does he keep giving advice?
Why would a person ask you to do something then fail to do it himself?

There are many reasons behind that behaviour. One of the main causes of such behaviour is when a person gives advice to try to achieve an important goal that has nothing to do with the advice.

A person for example can give an investment advice in the presence of others in order to seem knowledgeable and wise then do the opposite when he is totally alone just because he only cared about projecting a certain image. See understanding hidden inetntions behind behaviours

In my previous article The hidden intentions behind advice i explained how people can have totally different intentions behind the advice they are giving. When those intentions become the main motive of the person he doesn't really care about the advice he is saying as much as he caring about proving something to others.

A person can ask you to quit a certain habit because he wants to feel he has control over you then later on that person might find himself doing that habit.

Wishful thinking

Many people give advice in order to encourage themselves to do something. A friend might keep telling you about the dangers or smoking because he is afraid to become a smoker as well. That friend might be giving you advice in order to encourage himself to stay away from cigarettes and smoking.

Another factor that might motivate a person to give advice is wishful thinking. A person can ask you to do something , that he doesn't do, because he wishes to start doing it. Wishful thinking can motivate a person to give advice as he hopes to end up doing like what he is saying.

There is also another category of people which does the same thing. The ones who start things with a lot of enthusiasm then suddenly lose motivation and do nothing. Those people usually become very energetic at the beginning of everything. They even sometimes give advice to their friends to follow them then shortly they lose their energy and do nothing.

Double standards

In my previous article Why do people have double standards i explained how most people might do the opposite of what they say when something goes against their own interests.

I found this to be very popular in politics. If a group made fun of a political figure another group likes then the later group might accuse them of judging people, being racist or anything else.

Then later on when that same group hates a person they make all the racist remarks about them and judge them wrongly. Most humans have double standards except of the very few fair ones who don't give in to their desires and primitive instincts.

In short there are so many reasons that could let a person say something and do the opposite but this doesn't always mean that this person is jealous or a hater. yes in some cases haters might give you the wrong advice because they don't want to see you happy but that's not the only reason that could motivate a person to say something then do the opposite.

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