Why women let themselves go after marriage

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why women let themselves go after marriage

Why do so many women stop taking care of their looks after getting married?
While many people agree that hormonal changes can change body weight and looks still the way some women let themselves go after marriage involve more than weight gain.

Some women stop doing their hair, wearing making or trying to look better. I am also sure you noticed how some celebrities never seem to gain weight or look bad even after giving birth. In other words, there seems to be something more than the "hormone changes" arguments going on.

The word we are looking for her is motivation. Many women lose motivation to look good after getting married but the question is, why does this happen?

Why women lose motivation to look better after they get married

Here are few reasons why women let themselves go after marriage:

  • 1) Getting married was their ultimate goal: In many countries a woman's ultimate goal is getting married or getting in a relationship. The woman who puts a very high weight to this goal might start taking care of herself not because she wants to look good but because she wants to reach her goal. After this woman gets married she no longer finds motivation to look good
  • 2) Low self esteem: The more worthy a person feels the more he will believe that he deserves to look better. People who have a high self esteem believe that they deserve to look better and as a result they take care of their looks. If for any reason the relationship lowered the self esteem of a woman then she will stop taking care of herself
  • 3) Assuming a new identity: The psychological identity is the way a person sees himself. Each person can have more than one identity, for example a man can be both a worker and a father. Now some women drop many of their identities and just stick to the mom's identity after giving birth. In such a case those women believe that they need to do nothing more but to take care of their babies (see also Psychological identity problems)
  • 4) Looking good was never a priority: People always find ways to do the important things they care about. When a person finds himself uninterested in something he usually comes up with an excuse such as i don't have enough time (see procrastination and self deception). After marriage most women become more busy taking care of the house and the children and as a result many of them start claiming that they don't have enough time to take care of their looks while the truth is that looking good was never one of their priorities
  • 5) No knowledge about attraction psychology: While personality is important looks can turn a man off completely even if the personality was good. In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that most men prefer lighter women as a result of the programming they received through the media. In other words the perception of men changed in such a way that they started to prefer skinnier women

The kind of woman who doesn't let herself go

We all know that the change in habits and hormones that happen after marriage can change a person's looks but do you know what's the difference between a person who cares about looking good and a person who doesn't?

The first kind of person will change his lifestyle and habits whenever needed in order to keep his good looks while the other kind of person will let himself go whenever his lifestyle changes.

The kind of woman who cares about her looks is the one who is always eager to exercise and to keep her weight under control. On the other hand the woman who hardly does any effort to keep herself in shape and who only exercises when she bypasses a red line is the kind of woman who will let herself go after marriage.

People who don't understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder.

The book The psychology of physical attraction explained was released by 2knowmyself. This book won't just help you understand how the attraction process happens but it will also help you discover how attractive you are and will assist you in getting over the imagined ugliness problem.

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