Building self confidence quickly

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Building Self confidence quickly

The process of building self confidence is not as hard as it seems. The reason people take years trying to build their self confidence without succeeding is that they try to get this self confidence by striving for external approval instead of examining their belief systems.

People dedicate their lives to achieve some goals and then think that as soon as they achieve them they will become confident. These goals can be things like:

1)finding someone who loves them
2)becoming famous
3)becoming rich

While these are good goals still they can never bring you self confidence. You can be the richest and most famous person around and still have no self confidence. Unless self confidence comes from within it can never be felt.

This article will give you a quick overview of the variables involved in the process of building self confidence. If you understood them well and applied them surely your self confidence will increase with a quicker rate.

Self Confidence & Your belief system

Your current level of self confidence is the result of the hundreds of beliefs you hold about yourself and your abilities. If you think that you are not handsome, a boring person or yet another ordinary guy then most probably this will be reflected in your behavior.

You may become more shy and withdrawn just to avoid the pain of letting someone notice one of these bad things you know about yourself. So we can conclude that step one in building self confidence quickly is examining your belief system.

Your belief system may also be responsible for making you depressed. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how acquiring beliefs such as "life is unfair" or "i am not lucky" can be the root cause for depression and lack of self confidence.

If you want to build self confidence quickly then you need to work on getting rid of those negative beliefs as soon as you can. See How to change negative beliefs

Self confidence & your behavior

Your behavior is a direct result of your beliefs. If you think that you can never perform well in a presentation then whenever you will start to speak you will experience intense fear which will further prevent you from performing well. After several times of poor performance both the audience and your subconscious mind will become convinced that you are not a good public speaker.

As you just saw, if the belief was not there the poor performance wouldn’t have happened and so the belief wouldn’t have been solidified. The conclusion we can make here is that lack of self confidence starts with a belief and then the behavior further asserts this belief.

The process of building confidence can also start with a positive belief. Once you develop a positive belief about yourself then support it with positive actions your self confidence will go up. Many people do the mistake of trying to repeat affirmations or positive beliefs without really supporting them by any kind of action and this is why they never become truly confident. See Why Affirmations never work

The feedback you get is your responsibility

Even the feedback you get from others is a result of your belief system. If you believed that you don’t know how to pick good clothes then you will interpret every weird look from others as a sign of disapproval to your overall looks.

Each day you will get tens or even hundreds of confirmations that strengthens the belief that you already have. Usually none of these confirmations will provide a clear evidence but you will still believe in them because you already have a negative assumption about yourself.

So the conclusion you should have reached is: 99% of the feedback you get about yourself is based on your imagination and your incorrect perception. In such a case the belief you had was the seed and the false evidences you collected acted like the water that made the seed grow. See How incorrect perception affects self confidence

Self Confidence & Reality

I have met lots of people who have self confidence issues because they think that they are ugly, boring or even worthless. Most of them were way different than these beliefs they had about themselves. I saw beautiful people who believed that they are ugly and i saw very smart ones who believed that they were dumb.

Those people just acquired some false beliefs when they were small children then created a virtual world that kept reinforcing these beliefs until they became solid facts.

If you are one of those people then you must challenge these beliefs by Asking yourself these questions:

1)What are the sources of my beliefs about myself?
2)Am I getting real feedback or is it just my imagination?
3)Even if I am getting bad feedback, couldn’t it be because of my behavior?
4)And if the problem is in my behavior, isn’t my behavior a result of my beliefs?

Keep asking yourself these questions whenever you feel that your self confidence is betraying you. Few weeks later or few months later you will discover that most of these beliefs had nothing to do with reality and so your self confidence will improve quickly.

Summary of the steps needed to build confidence quickly

Here is a quick summary of the steps needed to build confidence quickly:

  • 1) Identify the false beliefs you have
  • 2) Fix your perception and stop collecting false evidence
  • 3) Develop positive beliefs about yourself
  • 4) Support those beliefs with actions
  • 5) challenge the evidence you collect
  • 6) Challenge your negative beliefs
  • 7) Repeat

The book “How to get over someone in few days” was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded.

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