Healing your inner child

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Healing your inner child

Most of the psychological problems we face in our daily lives are directly related to the lack of our ability to heal our inner child. In my previous article My past is haunting me I explained how lots of the psychological disorders we face as grown ups are somehow related to our childhood and our unhealed inner child.

Healing your inner child is a big step that will help you get over lots of your fears, anxieties and self confidence issues. Your inner child might be scared, feeling unworthy, full of shame, anxious or even hating itself!!

These emotions that are carried by the inner child affect your current behavior, actions, feelings and personality. You might feel afraid to approach people, dread rejection or feel unimportant just because your inner child was treated in an abusive way that forced it to carry some of these emotions.

How to heal your inner child

In order to be able to heal your inner child you must listen to it first without being critical, overly demanding or harsh. Lots of people reply to their negative self talk in a tough way especially when they feel afraid, anxious or worthless.

The first step towards healing a wound is to admit that you have a wound. The next time you get an unwanted feeling just live it, feel it, understand it and gently ask your inner child to tell you about it.

It takes a lot of courage to admit that you sometimes feel inferior or unloved But once you learn how to talk to your inner child you will know lots of things about yourself that you never knew before.

When talking to the inner child imagine that you are a parent who is trying to calm down the child and make him happy. Your goal should be listening to the inner child, acknowledging the wounds then reassuring him that you are going to take actions to make him safe.

Taking actions to heal the inner child

Lots of people live with psychological wounds for big periods of time because they try to escape from the responsibility by acting as if everything is alright, by trying to fool themselves and their inner child or by claiming that they are so busy doing other things ( for example work). (see Lying to your self).

The process of healing can’t happen by words or by time. Time can either heal a wound or make it grow bigger depending upon the actions you do as it passes. (see Does time really heal wounds?)

Reassuring an inner child requires that you do lots of tasks. These tasks might be ones related to building self confidence , learning new skills, doing things you were afraid to do before or making serious changes in your life.

Contrary to common beliefs healing your inner child can’t happen while you are asleep or while you are ignoring the wounds but only listening to it then taking actions to reassure it can heal it.

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