How to Not Be Timid

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The purpose of fear

Few days ago i got an email from one of the readers who told me that he has a problem with being Timid. He said the he sometimes feels like doing something but then he backs off and never does it.

Every Sane person knows that without courage success can never happen. After all the one common thing between all successful people is that they were brave enough to keep trying even though they were failing.

In order to know how to be brave in life you first need to understand few things about fear and how its developed.

Fear is an emotion that is supposed to be there to protect you. If a person put a knife on your neck and asked for your money then your mind will make you feel afraid in order to make sure you will stay safe.

Now the problem with so many people is that this Safety alarm fires in the wrong time and so instead of serving its purpose of protecting them it becomes a disabling factor.

What went wrong?

So what is that thing that happened that resulted in firing the alarm in the wrong time?
Here are some possible causes:

  • 1) You were taught that life is dangerous: Some parents are overprotective to the extent that they raise scared children. Because the child was always warned and scolded whenever he attempted to do something he starts to think that the world is unsafe. When that child grows up he usually becomes afraid of everything and sticks to his comfort zone all the time
  • 2) You have incorrect beliefs about Making mistakes: Some people think that its shameful to make a mistake and as a result their self esteem goes lower when they make one. Those people usually avoid trying anything not to risk damaging their self esteem (See also Why do some people never learn from their mistakes)
  • 3) You don't understand how life works or how success happens: People who succeeded from the first attempt are very rare. The general majority of successful people failed many times before they became successful. Those people kept trying because they knew that its OK to fail. In other words your beliefs about success and failure might be the thing that is holding you back
  • 4) You don't know how skills are learned: In my previous article How to learn any skill i explained how most talented people in the world made so many mistakes before they mastered their skills. People who don't know how skills are developed never take the step to try learning new ones and as a result they never develop them

How to Not Be Timid

So how can someone stop being timid?
There is only one answer to that question. March forward then you can think about the next step when you are already there. You won't die of failure or rejection but you will just learn then you will use what you learned to make another attempt.

With each attempt your skills will improve, your chances will become higher and after some failed attempts you will get it right. This is how life works.

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