How to gain self respect

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Who has self respect?

Self respect is not related to how people perceive you, to your achievements or to your public image but instead it comes from within.

There are celebrities and famous people who don’t have any self respect towards themselves and they even feel ashamed of being who they are. When you see those people from a distance you might find glorious looks but as soon as you come close to them you will discover that lots of them lack self respect and that they are not even satisfied with being themselves.

The reason I started with this introduction is to let you know that self respect can be gained with disregard to your social or financial position. In this article I will tell you how to gain self respect.

How to gain self respect

Ask yourself a simple question, who are the people you respect in your life? After thinking of a few of the people you respect a list of desired personal traits that resulted in this respect will come to your mind.

This list of traits is what you need to go after if you want to gain self respect. If for example, you found that you respect someone because he has deep knowledge about something then following his foot steps will result in letting you respect yourself more.

How to not gain self respect

Ignore any of the following items and you will lose respect towards yourself:

  • Adhere to your values: What do you value most? lets say honesty, Make few white lies or become dishonest and you will lose self respect in few days. Adhering to your own values is one of the strongest factors in building self respect
  • Keep your promises: I am not only talking about the promises you give to others but I also mean the promises you give to yourself. “I will never smoke again” or “I will never allow this to happen to me again” are examples of promises you might have given to yourself. Not keeping such promises will result in losing self respect while keeping them will result in gaining self respect. (see making and keeping promises)
  • Ask but never beg: Search for a job, tell someone that you love him/her and ask people for help but never beg anyone. If someone rejected you, ignored you or didn’t respect you then you should never beg him. Each time you will beg that person you will be losing respect towards yourself. (see self confidence and dignity)
  • Don’t escape : Are you brave? I don’t mean the kind of braveness needed to fight someone who bullies you but what i mean is the kind of braveness that lets you face your problems, fight for your dreams and never give up before you are satisfied with your life. How many problems are bothering you now? How many things do you wish to change? Are you fighting to change them or are you giving them your back? Become brave and your will gain self respect. (see I am not satisfied with my life)

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