How to love myself more

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Arrogance and self love

You might be thinking that loving yourself might make you arrogant but there is a big difference between loving yourself and thinking that you are better than everyone else.

Arrogance is a defense mechanism used by the subconscious mind in order to prevent further criticism. If someone had a terrible childhood and was hurt by others he may develop arrogance in order to prevent further criticism from hurting him. The trick usually works because if someone criticized him he can simply devalue him and assume that he is worthless. (see my article Dealing with arrogant people)

Loving yourself on the other hand means accepting who you are, being happy with your personality and enjoying being yourself without devaluing others. While arrogance stems from low self esteem, lack of self love causes low self esteem and prevents the person from feeling self confident.

Loving yourself and treating yourself well

People who love themselves treat themselves well, they rarely get involved in unhealthy habits, they never work until they drop and they stand up for their rights.

People who don’t love themselves might stay in a job that they hate for years with the excuse of not being able to find another job while the truth is that if those people really loved themselves they would have found another way to avoid the suffering they are facing. (see Why am i suffering?)

Self love wont only help you feel confident but it can prevent depression too! People who treat themselves in bad way usually ignore their problems until they end up depressed.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression I explained how ignoring your problems and allowing them to accumulate can be the primary source for depression. Some people face problems as soon as they encounter them while others bury them deeply in their subconscious minds or throw them behind their backs. When they do so their subconscious minds usually responds back with depression.

Hating yourself

You might think that some people love themselves while others don’t but actually there is a third group that hates themselves. Those who are overly critical to themselves, those who carry excessive accumulated guilt and those who lost their self respect might fall under the category of self haters.

The more you treat yourself badly and the more you are hard on yourself the more will you start to hate being who you are. The more you lose yourself respect (for example by not being able to give up a bad habit for a long period of time or by breaking the promises you give to yourself and others) the more likely you are going to hate yourself.

How to love yourself more?

Below are the steps that can help you to love yourself:

  • Learn to respect yourself by doing the things that you promised yourself to do and stopping the things that you promised yourself to let go of
  • If you are overly critical to yourself or a perfectionist then read my article "why are some people overly critical" in order to get rid of these bad habits
  • Learn how to deal with guilt, shame and embarrassment
  • Learn how to love the way you look, after all some people hate themselves because they have self image problems. Fix your self image problem and you will love yourself more
  • Build self confidence since self love stems from being happy with who you are and this can’t happen unless you become a confident person.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded.

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