How to stop feeling insecure

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Insecurity is not bad

People feel bad when they feel insecure because its commonly believed that insecurity is a bad emotion that has no useful role in improving ones life.

However when taking a closer look at the cause of insecurity you will find that insecurity is just a message sent by your brain trying to tell you one of the following things:

1) I am not sure of my ability to do this task
2) I think I might be moving in the wrong direction or
3) I might lose what I already have.

Insecurity is one of the strongest motivational forces

We human beings are either motivated by rewards or pain avoidance. (see Motivation styles).

Those who understand the fact that insecurity is just a message manage to completely eliminate their insecurities by providing reassurance to their minds. For example if you felt insecure about your job then improving your skills, taking additional courses, working harder and improving your CV will surely eliminate your insecurity.

Its as if insecurity is the key driving force that pushes people to new achievements that they wouldn't have achieved otherwise if they didn't feel insecure.

But sadly not all people manage to take advantage of the insecurity feelings, some people fail to understand the nature of the insecurity feelings and so live with them for extended periods of time or use quick fixes every now and then to temporary regulate their mood. Quick fixes can range from food, smoking, relationships up to drugs and self harm. (see Breaking bad habits).

The ultimate destination for people who use quick fixes is depression!! In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how using quick fixes instead of dealing with the root causes can cause depression on the long term. If you kept using quick fixes then suddenly you will find yourself facing a major depression as a result of the accumulated problems.

How to stop feeling insecure

So the first step to kill the insecurity feelings is to understand that those feelings are messages that mean that your mind is in need of reassurance.

Once you get such feelings you must sit alone and write down your thoughts and feelings in order to figure out the things that are making you insecure.

Once you find the reason (for example, I am afraid that I lose my job because of the tough economy) you should write a plan that helps you get rid of that reason. The Good news is that as soon as you write the plan you will feel better especially if your subconscious mind believed that the plan will work. (see why do I lack motivation)

In short, to get rid of insecurity feelings you must reassure your mind by TAKING ACTIONS and not by positive thinking or quick fixes. Only then you will kill the feelings of insecurity.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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