Dealing with fear of crowds

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Am Afraid, They are Looking at me

Tamer had to attend a social gathering that was arranged by his old school teachers.
He was always afraid that this day might force him to meet lots of people he barely knows. When he arrived to the social gathering he felt really afraid.

The people he doesn't know well, the looks of their eyes, the way they stared at him and their overall appearance made him terrified.

He started to become more and more anxious to the extent that he couldn’t even say hi to his old school mates. Tamer wasn't even able to maintain eye contact with those supper confident people who were standing around him.

Just a second, Super Confident?
Lets put these Words to test and find out whether tamer's anxiety is real or whether its caused by his imagination.

Anxiety and perception

The previous section described what was happening according to Tamer’s perspective. This section will describe what was happening from the perspective of one of those groups of people tamer was afraid of. The group was formed of four people Joe,Mathew,mike and sue.

The first one, Joe, was a very shy person, he was almost as anxious as tamer but he was trying to hide it. When he saw tamer he realized that he was one of his old school mates but he couldn’t approach him because of his shyness although he wanted to.

The Second person Was Mathew, Mathew had a real bad day the day before the event and so he was in no mood to talk to anyone. When he saw tamer he felt that his face was familiar but he wasn’t able to recognize him.

The third was Mike, Mike didn’t know Tamer before but when he saw him he noticed one thing, he was wearing a t-shirt that is similar to the one he bought few weeks ago.

The fourth was Sue, sue had self confidence issues and so she felt a little uncomfortable when Tamer looked towards her direction. She was afraid that he might think that she gained much weight since the last time they met.

Anxiety and the illusion

Tamer was afraid of those super confident people around him and he was so anxious when he approached the four people i was just talking about.

But if tamer were to read their minds he would have discovered that one of them was shy, the other was sad, the third was not paying attention and the fourth had self confidence problems.

How many times have you felt afraid when approaching groups of people?
How many times did you label others "super confident" the way tamer did?

In the Solid Self confidence program i explained how thinking that others are super confident is just an illusion that you get because you lack confidence.

According to statistics most people feel down, have self confidence problems and are not that sure of themselves. You will only feel self conscious around people when you think that all people around you are super beings instead of humans who have problems just like yours or even worse!

Group Separation Technique

Whenever you feel afraid when approaching a group of people just stop thinking, close your eyes, then look at them again, but this time decide that you are going to see humans and not super hero. When you think that way you will find yourself feeling much better around others.

This technique is called group separation technique because its based on the separation of large scary groups into single individuals. Once you apply this technique your social anxiety and fears will be greatly reduced.

Don’t look at a group and see one big block of people but look at a group and see individual humans who are just like you.

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