Why closing a relationship the right way is very important for recovery

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

I can't forget my Ex

I get so many emails from people who complain about the fact that they can't get over their Ex. I usually point those people to the right practices they should take to recover however in many cases i discover that the recovery isn't happening because the relationship was ended the wrong way.

In order to understand the importance of closing a relationship the right way let me first tell you how recovery happens. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that the bad feelings we get after breakups result from two things. The first is the loss of the person and the second is believing that hope of getting that person back is very low.

The very low hope results in the unpleasant feelings most people get after breakups. But what if that hope became non existent? What if that hope was eliminated?

Contrary to common beliefs when that hope is completely eliminated the recovery starts simply because the mind understands that the bad emotions are no longer useful. In other words the mind uses the bad emotions as long as there is hope , even if it was too little, because it still wants things to work.

Why closing a relationship the right way is very important for recovery

Do you know who are the people who usually suffer the most after breakups?
They are the ones with unfinished businesses.

If a breakup happened after a woman got a message from a man telling her that he has to breakup then this breakup is going to hurt less than a one where the man disappeared all of a sudden without mentioning any reasons.

In the second case the breakup hurts because:

  • The woman is unsure whether the man is getting back or not
  • She doesn't know why he left her
  • She assumes that he left because of her insecurities (the things she hates about herself the most)
  • Not knowing what to do

In other words the fact that the relationship was ended abruptly resulted in a great amount of additional emotional pain. Had this relationship ended the right way that woman would have felt much less pain.

How to end a relationship properly?

You might be wondering what can the woman in the previous example do if she isn't the one who ended the relationship?

In fact any person can always work on getting proper closure even if he isn't the one who ended the relationship. That woman could still try to reach for that man to get a final answer. This has nothing to do with chasing a person after a breakup but it's all about making sure of his intentions so that you allow recovery to happen.

Never allow a relationship to end abruptly before you get a final confirmation from the person who broke up with you. By doing so you will ensure that the road to recovery will be much smoother.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

Want to know more?

This is why you never recovered from that breakup

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How your past can prevent you from recovering from a breakup

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