Why you sometimes get negative comments about your looks

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do people say we don't look good?

Apart from the facts that jealous people might try to put you down, that haters might want to make you feel bad and that haters might find you unattractive there are other things that are responsible for the negative comments we get about our looks.

In my previous article How to deal with negative feedback about your looks i explained how you shouldn't feel bad when you get a negative comment on your looks because people's perception change all the time.

This article is part two of that article where i will go further in explaining why you sometimes appear less attractive then you truly are.

Why we handle criticism incorrectly

As soon as a person gets told something like 'you don't look well today', 'you grew older' or 'you look tired' he quickly feels bad and starts looking for his own personal flaws. Yes sometimes it's important to pay some attention to the feedback you are getting from people but this only brings good results when you make sure that this feedback isn't biased.

Here is a simple example. Sunlight usually makes people look less attractive as it shows most of the imperfections in the face. Now when you get a negative comment about your looks after meeting someone in direct sunlight it would be totally wrong to assume that you look bad all the time.

In short, In some lighting conditions we can look totally different. Also the mood of the person you are talking to can actually impact their perception. If a friend is depressed or is not in a good mood then he might look at everything from a negative angle.

A person can give you a negative remark on your looks just because he isn't really feeling well on a certain day.
What i want to say is that in many cases we take those remarks as if they are facts without actually understanding that there are so many variable factors that change the way we look and that also change the perception of others, See how your emotions affect your perception.

Here is how to analyze that negative remark

When you get a negative remark about your looks you need to ask yourself so many questions first before considering the remark important.

Does this person really like you?
Does he have good intentions?
Is this person jealous?

How were the lighting conditions?
did you sleep well that day?
were you tired that day?

How was the mood of that person?
How was your own mood?
What did he really mean?

You see when you ask yourself those questions you will realize that many of the negative comments you get aren't actually negative. I am not asking you to deny any negative comment you get but am just asking you to be fair when evaluating those comments in order not to ruin your self esteem.

People who don't understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder.

The book The psychology of physical attraction explained was released by 2knowmyself. This book won't just help you understand how the attraction process happens but it will also help you discover how attractive you are and will assist you in getting over the imagined ugliness problem.

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