Anger management strategies

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Anger turns into depression

After a conversation with some of the people I know I found that there is a wide misconception about anger management which is that you should control your anger all the time in order to be correctly managing your anger.

Suppressed anger is one of the main causes of depression and one of the most famous definitions of depression is “Anger turned inwards”

When someone becomes angry and keeps it inside him instead of releasing his anger he will surely end up depressed. Of course this doesn’t happen overnight but sooner or later his suppressed emotions will turn into bad feelings followed by depression.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i explained how depression can be nothing more than loss of hope towards dealing with an external stimulus, in this case anger is the external stimulus and ignoring it for prolonged periods will result in loss of hope which will shortly turn into depression.

If someone punched you in the face and then you took a deep breath, counted from 1 to 10 then went home you will find depression waiting for your at the door.

Anger management is not suppressing your emotions

Contrary to common beliefs, anger management is not suppressing your anger but it’s rather controlling the flow of it and directing it to the right people instead of projecting it on others who have done nothing bad to you.

For example, if someone bothered you and then you became angry you might incorrectly do any of the following:

  • Shout at your kids when you go home when they do the slightest mistake
  • Shout at the drivers in the street
  • Start a fight with anyone who does anything even if he was just kidding

Directing your anger towards innocent people is wrong however directing it to the people who originally bothered you is a healthy action that must be done in order to prevent suppressed emotions from turning into depression.

Anger management strategies

When someone gives you a punch in your face, give him a punch too, then apply anger management to :

  • Not give him another one
  • To not shout at innocent people like your wife, kids or friends who have done nothing bad to you

Lots of the people you see shouting all the time are actually angry at other things but they don’t know how to control their anger nor do they understand that directing it to the right place will make them become calmer. The man who always shouts at everyone has something that is bothering him in his life that he can’t deal with it (see To know my enemy for more information)

So should you forgive people instead of punching them? Yes but only if you can punch them. For example if the world’s wrestling champion bullied you and then you decided to control your anger you will be actually fooling yourself and surely you will get depressed.

Your subconscious mind will understand that you are deceiving it, the trust you have for yourself will decrease, you will lose self respect and your self esteem will be affected.

On the other hand if one of your friends annoyed you while you had the power to force him to apologize then forgiving him would then be an option.

Anger management means protecting innocent people and punching bad ones in the face. Once someone told me why you are shouting at me while you are teaching anger management, I told him, shouting at you now is anger management my friend.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it's a boring online encyclopedia but it's a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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