How to discuss money issues with people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to discuss money issues with people

Had a great relationship with your partner, and worried that it’s time to discuss financial issues?

Discussing how much you should be paid for your service?
Have to discuss you salary with your new boss?
Yes I know, it is an uncomfortable topic.
Until you change your mind set about it.

It’s all in your head

Let’s look a bit closer at why exactly it is uncomfortable.
The reason people start to feel awkward when speaking about money is because it involves judgment and comparison.

Even if many aren’t aware of it, they don’t want to be misjudged with wrong intentions, certain personality traits or even lack money.

The point is, the more you act out of your fears, the more you are perceived to be what you fear. In the Solid Self confidence program i said that when you make a mistake, like dropping a glass of water on the table for example, you shouldn’t make a fuss about it. When you react calmly and give little significance to it and proceed to do what you were doing or calmly adjusting it, surprisingly people also give little significance to it.

Same with money, if you make what you want seem like a big deal, the other person will feel like it is a big deal. If you on the other hand discuss it calmly without a big deal, the other person will in turn feel like it’s actually not such a big deal.

If you don’t know, you may not like the outcome at all

Two words when you’re worried: Be Prepared.

Look, if you don’t know what you’re going to say or want, you’re not going to magically find the right things to say when the situation comes.

Make the right necessary research. Don’t start talking unprepared.
While you are preparing, the most important thing to prepare for after research, is a response to different potential reactions.

So first, you must know where your minimum red line is (the minimum includes comfort level of course) so that you are speaking with confidence. Why you’ll speak with confidence? Because the more you understand why, the more you understand you’re not being unfair. So at least the worry of being unfair is out of the way.

If you’re following the first advice of being calm and speaking with background information, you are more likely to feel comfortable with the discussing.

Don’t make sacrifices

By now you know why. Speak calmly and it shall pass.
Sometimes the thought of the conversation is so daunting that you begin considering to sacrifice some or many things to get it over with.

You may have gotten the conversation off your back, but you’re only delaying dissatisfaction for as long as you are in the company/ relationship/ business etc…

Put the two previous advice that we’ve discussed into consideration and never sacrifice after you’ve properly researched.

In most cases you’ll realized that it was a bit out of proportion than it actually is in your head. Sometimes even the people involved in the discussion aren’t aware that something wrong is happening at all in the first place until you speak up.

Controlling your emotions during the talk

Your brain cannot focus on two things at the same time. Even multitasking is a big lie, because your brain shifts and swaps its focus in as little as femtoseconds from one task to the other. When we experience negative emotions, our attention shifts towards them and we lose focus of what we want to say. This is why we sometimes get a mental block in tough situations and can’t seem to respond, so we give in.

My advice to you is when this happens, instantly stop thinking and analyzing what the other person must thinking or what you’re doing wrong (because it will get you nowhere) and instead focus your attention on finding the logical response to the situation. If you shift your attention and block these kinds of thoughts, I guarantee you will get many logical things to respond with.

The reason for this is because signals in your brain will move from the limbic system (which is responsible for the release of emotions) to your cortex (which is the rational part of your brain). I promise you, if you shift your attention towards solutions, you will get many ideas to respond with. Just remain calm.

2knowmyself is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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