Conversation tips for shy people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Conversation tips for shy people

Shyness is a personality disorder that prevents people from being at ease around strangers or even some of their friends.

Usually shy people find it very hard to start a conversation with strangers or to even talk about themselves freely in the presence of others.

I have already mentioned in my previous articles about shyness that shyness is just a symptom for another problem such as low self esteem or inferiority complex.

Since i already covered before how shyness can be dealt with i will focus in this article on conversation tips that can help you communicate better with people if you are a shy person.

What shy people don't know about conversations

The first thing that a shy person fails to notice during social interactions is the state of feeling of other people.

Because a shy person is always self absorbed he focuses on his own emotions rather than focusing on the emotions of others and as a result he leaves a real bad first impression without noticing.

This bad impression feeds his low self esteem and thus reinforces his shyness problem.

For example most shy people will remain silent most of the time because they are too afraid to talk and never realize that others will never feel good around a silent person.

All people want reassurance even the confident ones and that's why people usually feel uneasy around the shy person because of believing that he doesn't want to talk to them! (see Conversation tips)

See how focusing on your own emotions and ignoring the emotions of others during a conversation can result in a bad first impression?

How can shy people get over the fear of starting a conversation?

I know exactly how you feel when you are around others. You feel like you want to talk but in the same time something holds you back such as a the fear of making a mistake or messing up the conversation.

The good news is that this fear will disappear or at least wont hold you back if you forced yourself to start the conversation many times.

Fears grow when we avoid them but when we face them we always discover that 90% of the things we were afraid of were irrational and as a result we dont feel that afraid the next time we face the same situation.

Now if you are a shy person you must understand that you will never be able to overcome that fear before you prove to yourself that its an irrational fear and you wont be able to do that before you face it.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that if you forced yourself to talk with others and to start conversations with strangers you will feel uneasy in the beginning but as you become more skilled your shyness will ease.

A big part of the fear you experience before approaching someone stems from your lack of trust in your own conversation skills. That's why When you develop such conversation skills by training you will feel much more at ease around people. (see How to start a conversation with strangers)

Put in mind that this wont help ending the underlying problem if it was low self esteem or inferiority complex but at least you will be able to talk freely without thinking about each word you say.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

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Shyness in children

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