Can someone love a person he was never interested in

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Got rejected? Then i have good news for you

Did you get a "No" after proposing to someone?
Did you get rejected by the one you love?
Did someone tell you that you are a nice person and everything but you can only be a friend?

I am sure this happened to you at some point in your life and the good news i have for you is that it might still work!

How love works

If you have been reading in 2knowmyself for a while then most probably you already know that people fall in love with the ones who can help them satisfy their important unmet needs.

If a woman always believed that intelligence is extremely important and if she didn't believe that she is that intelligent then she will get attracted to intelligent men provided that they meet her other unmet needs. (see The psychology of love

People reject others when they believe that they can't meet their unmet needs. A guy who has a big ego might only get attracted to very beautiful females just because they can help him satisfy his ego. Most probably that guy will reject any moderate looking woman even if she had many other good traits (assuming that he cares about beauty).

Can someone love a person he was never interested in

Yes this is quite possible. Unmet needs are not constant but they change as we go through the different life experiences. Lets suppose that a hard working man whos life revolves around his work proposed to a woman who rejected him.

Now lets suppose that this woman got committed to a person she believed he is the perfect match for her then discovered that he has no career or future. In such a case one of two things will happen, if the woman didn't care much about being with a successful person then most probably nothing will change but if her life was affected in a bad way because of this fact then her unmet needs will change.

In other words, our unmet needs change when we suffer. If a man's life got messed up because he married a lazy woman or a procrastinator then his unmet needs will change and he will start to seek an active woman even if that's wasn't what he was looking for earlier. (See also What attracts men)

So the important conclusion is: A person can fall in love with someone he was never interested in after discovering that this person has the things he should have been looking for earlier.

How often can this happen?

In order for a person's unmet needs to change he must go through an emotionally intense experience that lasts for some time. This doesn't happen overnight or in a month but it takes sometime before a person realizes that he was using the wrong criteria to choose a life partner.(see also why do we fall in love)

Once this happens people start to look for completely different things in their potential partners and as a result they can fall in love with ones they never considered attractive before. (see also Why do some people have types)

A messed up relationship, a tough life experience or major change that happens to a person's life can be the trigger that lets him change his unmet needs and so forces him to seek a different type of partner.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

Want to know more?

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