How to understand your emotions and emotional needs

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Understanding your emotions

Many people feel bad everyday without knowing why.
Some people are not happy with their lives yet they don't understand the reason behind such an emotion.

Most people get unwanted emotions that they don't understand every now and then.

Suppose that a little baby was crying because it needed to change its clothes. If you misunderstood the baby's emotions you might think that its hungry and so bring it food.

Certainly the baby's emotions won't change because you haven't responded to its real demand. That's the same exactly that happens to people when they fail to understand their emotions.

A person might be experiencing emotional pain because of a problem in his social life yet you find him saying that he is bored and that he needs a change. The guy goes for that change then returns back to find his bad emotions waiting for him once again. (see Dealing with boredom)

That's why its extremely important to understand your emotions and that's why i decided to write this article to help you understand emotional needs and the reasons behind emotional pain.

How to understand your emotions, emotional needs and emotional pain

Before you can understand your emotions perfectly you need to understand that each person develops specific emotional needs at his early childhood that are different than the emotional needs others develop.

If for a example the parents of two children always gave more attention to one of them (the youngest for example) then the elder might develop the emotional need of always wanting to be appreciated and loved even when he grows up. The younger brother on the other hand might develop the emotional need of wanting to be the center of attention since this is what he got used to. (see 3 Reasons you don't feel loved and How birth order affects your life)

When children grow up they do their best to satisfy their childhood emotional needs and if they didn't manage to do so they experience emotional pain.

For example if the elder brother in this example failed to feel appreciated by others when he grew up then certainly he will experience emotional pain even if he didn't understand the reason behind it.

How to understand emotions in the light of emotional needs

You can't understand your own emotions until you become aware of your own emotional needs. When the elder brother in the previous example fails to find a loving partner then he might end up depressed.

In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that many people search online for the causes of depression without realizing that 1 million people might be depressed for 1 million different reasons. We can understand our emotions in a much better way when we understand the fact that our mind uses them to help us achieve the emotional needs that are important to us.

That guy always wanted to be appreciated but because he didn't manage to do it his mind responded with an emotion such as depression to motivate him to fix the problem.

The other child on the other hand might become depressed if he didn't find himself in the center of attention. Again his mind is using such an emotion to motivate him to satisfy his emotional needs.

Understanding emotional pain

Whatever the kind of emotional pain you are experiencing know that its just a method your mind is using to motivate you to pursue your emotional needs.

If your mind found a way that can help you satisfy your emotional needs then it will motivate you to follow it. The same feeling the youngest child in the previous example will get if he found a chance to became famous or popular.

If your mind found that you are moving away from your emotional needs then it will respond with emotional pain in the form of sadness, bad mood or even depression.

Understand these facts and you will be able to get rid of all of the unwanted emotions in your life.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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