How i got over narcissism

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Once a narcissist , always a narcissist?

Do narcissists change?
Can a narcissist become a normal person again?

The short answer is yes.
Let me make a confession i never made before. I was a narcissist back in 2001. The fact that everything i asked for in life was there for me made me think like am some kind of an omnipotent person and the fact that so many of the people i knew weren't in that favorable position prevented me from having empathy towards them.

I think it's hard to feel empathy for a person if you never experienced what he has been through. Ordinary things which each normal person used to do everyday was a kind of a myth for me.

I didn't really understand why would someone complain about life? I didn't quite understand why can a person feel bad or get depressed? And believe me i never knew how those emotions were like back then.

But the good news is that i changed and i got over narcissism.
The reason so many narcissists remain the way they are is not because it's hard to change but it's just because they like the way they are and they don't even think that there is anything wrong with them.

How i got over narcissism

I got over narcissism the real hard way.
In 2005 a series of miserable events started happening to me including social isolation, loss of all my savings and a serious breakup. Because those bad emotions lasted for long and those problems stayed unsolved until 2008 i felt broken for the first time in my life since years.

As i experienced pain, depression, disappointment i learned how to empathize with every person who feels bad. It's as if God was teaching me a lesson to be able to empathize with people once again. The second fact that helped me get over narcissism is that i realized how little is the control we have over our own lives.

One day you might think that you are the best person in the world then the next day you get a virus, which doctors can't cure, and you become the most miserable person on earth.

From my experience as a person who was a narcissist before i can tell that believing that you are 100% control over your life is one of the major causes of narcissism. I am not trying to force you to believe in God because you might have your own beliefs however it's a pretty logical thing that we don't have full control over our lives. (see also The illusion of control)

You can make a car accident just because another driver is drunk. You could get treated in a certain way just because you were born with certain genes. Even though a person can get a plastic surgery still some aspects of his looks can hardly be changed.

In short there are other forces that are responsible for what we get in life apart from our excellence, intelligence and brilliance.

When things became good again i managed to see things right

As things started changing in 2008 with the success of 2knowmyself, me returning back to people after years of social isolation (because of work) and establishing my life again i realized that even though i became successful i wasn't actually fully in control.

If i wasn't interested in psychology i might have never came up with 2knowmyself.
If i didn't come across Steve pavlina's blog i might have never decided to make money online.
If Steve Pavlina didn't announce that he made lots of money online i might have never tried to do the same.

Yes i strongly believe in myself , in my capabilities and in my mind but i am now sure that all of those things aren't enough to make you successful without some kind of a push from an external powerful force.

I used to see the world incorrectly and that's why i was a narcissist.

2knowmyself is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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Want to know more?

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Understanding narcissism

Why do narcissists like twitter and Instagram

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