How to deal with worrying

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to deal with worrying

She was standing in the middle of the street and shouting at her friends
For those who don't have a deep knowledge about the human mind she appeared to be bad tempered

But to someone who knows how to look behind the causes of the human's behavior it was clear that she was worried about something

Our friend was worried about being left behind in a country that is new to her and that's why she lost her temper. Had she learned how to deal with worrying she wouldn't have acted that way.

How to stop worrying?

  • You can't just stop worrying: I am sure you came across lots of nonsense advice such as "just stop worrying". The reason such advice would never work is that worrying is just a message your subconscious mind is sending you to tell you that you are not in control and that being in control is important to you. You can't just ignore the message, and if you did, it will intensify and you will become even more worried
  • Learn how to accept uncertainty: Two different people might face the same exact situation and end up with completely different emotions. In the Solid Self confidence program i said that the combination of your belief system and the situation you are facing shapes your behavior. If you want to deal with worrying then you must work on changing your beliefs about being in control. You must learn how to embrace uncertainty and to remain calm in situations that have unpredictable outcomes
  • End uncertainty if possible: In some cases it might be possible to completely end uncertainty by searching for more information about your problem. The subconscious mind can forgive many things but laziness isn't one of them. If searching for more information about a certain issue can help you reduce worrying then your subconscious mind won't leave you until you do so. See Ending worrying immediately
  • Take Action and stop worrying: If worrying is just a message from your subconscious mind then certainly responding to the message would make you feel relieved. If you were worried about a job interview then call experts and ask them about the questions you might be asked, This would help you feel more relaxed. In short, taking actions can reduce your worries
  • Dedicate some time for worrying: In some cases trying to stop yourself from worrying will backfire. By allowing yourself to worry during certain times your brain will make sure it achieved its objective of notifying you about the problem it it is worried about.
  • Increase your level of tolerance: Worrying happens when your mind believes that you can't tolerate the possibility of a certain bad thing happening. If you managed to make serious life changes then your tolerance to certain problems might increase and you might start worrying less. See why you turned into a worrier
  • Don't distract yourself: Many schools these days push people to escape from their worries by distracting themselves. The only thing this behaviour results in is increased worrying because when the subconscious mind realizes that you are not responding to its message it will send you a more powerful message. See Why those methods will never help you stop worrying.
  • Avoid compulsive checking: Worrying usually happens when we come across some new piece of information or a trigger. In many cases we actually trigger those worries by trying over and over to check for something. If every few hours you check your stock prices for example then the possibility of worrying will become much higher as you are more likely to encounter a negative trigger See also Worrying is one form of OCD
  • Always have a backup plan: A backup plan can help you worry less since the worst outcome you might think about will still be tolerable. Whenever possible make sure you have a backup plan, this can help you worry less.
  • Avoid triggers In my article What triggers worrying i explained how certain triggers can force you into the worrying mood. Learn how to identify those triggers then try to reduce your exposure to them as much as you can
  • Make written plans: When you write down a plan you send a signal to your mind telling it that you are going to handle things. If your mind believed you then your worrying will stop. After all the main purpose of worrying could be motivating you to take certain actions. See This is why you should write a plan
  • Be a step ahead of worrying : If you realized that you worry when you have many tasks to complete for example then stay ahead of worrying but not putting yourself in that situation in the first place

Anger, sarcasm and worrying

The way a person acts is always a refection of the emotions he is experiencing. Most people fail to understand others because they never manage to relate their behavior to the correct emotion.

Anger for example can be the result of being worried about something or feeling insecure. When the person finds that he has lost control over a certain situation he might become angry in order to protect himself. After all if he managed to regain some control by forcing people to obey him then he would feel more secure.

Worrying can also result in sarcastic behavior. If the person felt insecure and so started worrying he might criticize people who don't understand his worries in order to force them to empathize with him.

The first step to dealing with worrying is to understand that some of the incorrect behavior you are doing such as losing your temper might be a direct result of worrying.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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