How to be emotionally intelligent

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to be emotionally intelligent

What's the difference between a person who losses his temper and a person who manages to control it?
whats the difference between a person who knows how to deal with people and a person who usually messes things up?
What's the difference between someone who can't break a habit and a person who understands the reasons behind his habit and so breaks it?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to take the right decisions even when you are under the effect of a certain emotion. Learning how to develop emotional intelligence will help you escape from tons of problems that would have happened if you were to take emotional decisions.

In the next few lines i will tell you how to be emotionally intelligent.

Emotional intelligence and self understanding

Some people eat because they feel Hungry while others eat because they feel bad and so want to change their hormonal levels through food!!

If the second group of people didn't understood why they are eating they might never manage to lose weight. Emotional intelligence in this case would be understanding the real reasons behind their food addiction.

Some people get mad and shout because they are insecure
some people are sarcastic because they are wounded and were criticized as children
Some people are aggressive because they have hidden fears

The first key to emotional intelligence is understanding your actions, emotions and the underlying reasons behind them.

Emotional intelligence and understanding others

The other side of emotional intelligence is understanding other people and their behavior.

Few days ago i was with my newly made friends at Lebanon and then one of them started shouting and screaming at us because we left her behind. One of our friends thought that she is aggressive, bad tempered and mad while in fact she was just insecure. (see Why do people become angry)

The girl was not feeling safe to be left behind in a country that is new to her and that's why she started shouting.

Emotional intelligence is all about understanding the real reason behind people's behavior instead of judging them without thinking.

The arrogant person you see everyday might just be in need of attention
The stubborn person might just be afraid to do something he didn't try before
The shopping addict might just be someone who has a self image problem
and the bad tempered person might be someone who is already hurt

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that some people are showy because they lack confidence, others are arrogant because they believe that no body will respect them if they didn't act that way while a third group acts superior because they feel inferior!!

Had any of these people been emotionally intelligent they wouldn't have acted this way.

Final words about emotional intelligence

If you want to be emotionally intelligent then you must forget about judging people based on your own belief system, You must learn how to see through things and how to put yourself in their shoes.

The same goes for yourself, you must understand your own behavior and find out why you are doing certain things the way you are doing them now.

Stick to those two advice and you will become emotionally intelligent.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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