How to be emotionally intelligent

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to be emotionally intelligent

What's the difference between a person who losses his temper and a person who manages to control it?
whats the difference between a person who knows how to deal with people and a person who usually messes things up?
What's the difference between someone who can't break a habit and a person who understands the reasons behind their habit and so manages to breaks it?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to take the right decisions even when you are under the effect of a certain emotion. Learning how to develop emotional intelligence will help you escape from tons of problems that would have happened if you were to take emotional decisions.

In the next few lines i will tell you how to be emotionally intelligent.

Emotional intelligence and self understanding

Some people eat because they feel Hungry while others eat because they feel bad and want to change their hormonal levels through food.

If the second group of people didn't understand why they are eating they might never manage to lose weight. Emotional intelligence in this case would be understanding the real reasons behind their food addiction.

Some people get mad and shout because they are insecure
some people are sarcastic because they are wounded and were criticized as children
Some people are aggressive because they have hidden fears
Some people always worry because they never take actions to solve their problems

The first key to emotional intelligence is understanding your actions, emotions and the underlying reasons behind them.

Emotional intelligence and understanding others

The other side of emotional intelligence is understanding other people and their behavior.

Few days ago i was with my newly made friends at Lebanon and then one of them started shouting and screaming at us because we left them behind. One of our friends thought that this person is aggressive, bad tempered and mad while in fact they were just insecure and afraid. See Why do people become angry.

The person was not feeling safe to be left behind in a country that is new to them and that's why they started shouting.

Emotional intelligence is all about understanding the real reason behind people's behavior instead of judging them without thinking.

The arrogant person you see everyday might just be in need of attention
The stubborn person might just be afraid to do something he didn't try before
The shopping addict might just be someone who has a self image problem
and the bad tempered person might be someone who is already hurt

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that some people are showy because they lack confidence, others are arrogant because they believe that no body will respect them if they didn't act that way while a third group act superior because they feel inferior.

Had any of these people been emotionally intelligent they wouldn't have acted this way.

Steps to be emotionally intelligent

Here is how you can be emotionally intelligent:

  • 1) Become aware of your emotions: So many people run on the auto pilot mode and never really manage to notice their emotions or feelings. The first step to becoming emotionally intelligent is to become aware o your emotions
  • 2) Understand the real reasons behind your emotions: Being aware of your emotions is a good step but it's not enough to help you become emotionally intelligent. The other important step you need to take is to understand the real reasons behind your emotions. This won't happen before you get a good level of self understanding and luckily this site has all the information you need to do that.
  • 3) Learn to control your emotions: Once you become aware of your emotions and their causes it's time to learn to control those emotions instead of letting them control you. By acting based on logic and reasoning you will be able to take much better decisions
  • 4) Get a better understanding of people: Once you learn how to understand people you will be better able to explain their actions and so you won't get that emotional when you deal with them

Final words about emotional intelligence

If you want to be emotionally intelligent then you must forget about judging people based on your own belief system, You must learn how to see through things and how to put yourself in their shoes.

The same goes for yourself, you must understand your own behavior and find out why you are doing certain things the way you are doing them now.

Stick to those two advice and you will become emotionally intelligent.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

How to understand people better

Living with emotional pain

Emotional awareness

How to become emotionally strong

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)

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