How to have a healthy relationship with your partner

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What is a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is a relationship that started because of real love between a couple and not because of an unhealthy need that both people needed to satisfy.

Everyday millions of people start new relationships because of their desire to compensate for their weaknesses, their need to deal with a past unfinished businesses and their desire to feel worthy.

Although each relationship may contain some of the previous factors to a certain extent still when a relationship becomes solely based on these factors it becomes an unhealthy one.

An example of an unhealthy relationship

Suppose that a girl didn't manage to get enough attention from her father when she was young because he was always absent. If that girl got into a relationship just to get back some of the nurturing she is in need of then certainly this will be an unhealthy relationship.

In this case,instead of being a loving partner she might become a control freak who wants her man to give her all his attention in order for her to become satisfied. (See relationship dissatisfaction)

Once the desire to control the other person gets into the relationship from one side love will escape from the other side. This girl will always be obsessed with fears because she doesn't want her man to become like her father and this will result in motivating her to control him.(see Why are some women controlling)

The controlling behavior could take many forms starting from not wanting to talk to him unless he changes his behavior up to shouting and screaming until he changes his mind.

Getting mad, screaming and shouting are all popular tools for regaining control that people use in their relationships.

This is the part where dishonesty comes into play, her partner will not want to say the whole truth in order to avoid annoying her and so the relationship takes another step towards being unhealthy. In my book The ultimate guide to maintaining a healthy relationship i described how controlling behavior in addition to dishonesty can be the reason a relationship becomes unhealthy. If you want to have a healthy relationship then you must make sure that you avoid controlling behavior and dishonesty.

how to have a healthy relationship with your partner

The important question now is how to have a healthy relationship with your partner?

The first advice i have for you is to get a solid understanding of love's psychology and the real drives that motivate us to love someone. This kind of information will let you understand yourself and your partner more and so it will enable you both to get rid of fears that are preventing you from having a healthy relationship.

The other important thing you should do is to be honest. Dishonesty can ruin any relationship in a short period of time and even if the relationship was sustained sooner or later the truth will be revealed and the your partner might ask for a divorce.

Finally you must educate yourself properly about relationships in order to fix the false ideas that the media has filled your mind with. The programming people receive from the media is one of the strongest reasons that cause relationship dissatisfaction and lead to unhealthy relationships. As a result of this programming both partners keep comparing their relationships to the unrealistic ones they saw on TV and so end up being dissatisfied.

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