How to improve your social skills and make friends

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

how to improve your social skills and make friends

In my previous article Anxiety explained i said that people feel anxious during social situations when they believe that they can't handle them well.

The first time i had to do a presentation in front of a large group i was so anxious but after some time (and lots of presentations) the act of public speaking became an easy habit.

In short, after i developed the skills that i needed i found myself not anxious anymore.
Based on this concept it makes a lot of sense that you learn how to improve your social skills in case you feel anxious around people.

Why most people fail to develop their social skills

One of the biggest mistakes some people make when it comes to socializing is that they pull back and escape whenever they feel anxious.

Its so common for a person who fears presentations to avoid them all the time and its so common for a guy who fears strangers to avoid social gatherings. (see How to approach strangers).

In my article What causes fears and phobias i said that fears grow when we avoid them.

Yesterday i met a little Kid at the pool who told me that he fears deep areas in the pool. I told him that i used to fear them as well but i managed to get over that fear because i didn't avoid them.

4 steps for Developing your social skills

So how can a person develop his social skills?
This process is as easy as this:

  • 1) Don't avoid your fears! For example, If you fear strangers then force yourself to approach more of them!
  • 2) Mess things up: Since you lack social skills there is a big possibility that you are going to mess things up when you face your fears. Relax! this is a normal part of the plan
  • 3) Know what went wrong: Find out what went wrong and why you messed things up the last time you tried
  • 4) Repeat once again: As the time passes you will find yourself improving. When your social skills become better your anxiety will be reduced in turn and as a result you will be more comfortable around people

Lots of people send me messages telling me that they fear to approach others because they lack social skills then ask me for a way out. If you are one of those people then you must realize that unless you do things wrong you will never be able to do things right!

If you took the avoidance road then you will live your whole life afraid of people.
I am sure you don't want things to end that way, right?

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