How to stop being helpless

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The state of being helpless

Few month ago i started a social network and i got so excited about the project that it took almost 60% of my time.

Long ago i used to be a programmer but after 10 years of no practice i forgot everything about programming and i became 100% focused on online marketing. I hired few part timers to help me get my social network online and they did it.

But after sometime the programmers stopped answering their phones , they worked less frequently and they delayed important tasks for weeks.

This was the time i felt really helpless. After all helplessness happens when you find yourself unable to get an important task done.

Feelings of helplessness are devastating because they make you feel weak and powerless. I literally begged the developers to respect the work schedule but sadly that didn't happen. I worked with more than one person and all of them had the same attitude which is working hard for a week or two then not replying back.

How to stop being helpless

The social network was growing and after we exceeded 10,000 members i felt even more helpless because i wasn't able to fix the important bugs the users were complaining about.

Then one day a serious bug happened that kept the site down for few hours. I called all the programmers i know but no one responded. I went down to the street 3 am to meet a close friend believing he can help me but he wasn't able to help.

This day i took a serious decision. I will become a programmer and i won't become helpless anymore. Even though i am extremely busy and i had no time at all in my schedule i decided to free one hour each day to learn about programming.

Within 2 weeks i fixed many of the important bugs that were pending and i felt i am regaining my power again. After one month i started adding simple new features and i felt even better. Then after another month i started working on more complex features.

Even though am still not as good as the people i used to work with i now feel much stronger and i don't feel helpless anymore.

This is how to end helplessness

Want to end helplessness?
In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that finding the missing skills you lack and learning them is the way to end helplessness for good. Those might be social skills, work related skills or anything else.

Do you feel helpless because some people bully you? Then learn martial arts and stop them
Do you feel helpless because you hate your job? Then develop your skills to be able to find a better one
Do you feel helpless because you have depression? Then learn more about psychology and self help to find your way out.

In all cases you need to move, learn and develop new skills in order to kill helplessness. If you want to stay helpless forever then give excuses such as i have no time or i don't know where to start.

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