Reasons for rejection after the first meeting

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Rejection and your insecurities

So many people feel bad when they get rejected after the first meeting with a person. For example after a planned family setup one of the people involved might change their mind completely and reject the other one.

The reason such an event can be disturbing for many people is that people usually think of their own insecurities right away and blame them for the rejection. The people who dislike their own looks will blame them for the rejection, the ones who think they are short will think their height was the problem while the ones who dislike their personalities will blame them for the rejection.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that every person sees the world through a special lens which is his own insecurities. Most people interpret the life events that happen to them based on their own fears which stems from their own insecurities.

If for example a guy didn't like the fact that he is shorter than his friends then every rejection this person gets will be attributed to his height just because he thinks that people think exactly like him.

But the truth is that like we see the world from our own unique angle the ones who evaluate us also see it from their own unique angle and thus in so many cases our conclusions about such events might be wrong.

Reasons for rejection after the first meeting

So what are the other reasons for rejection after the first meeting?

  • 1) You are not their type: You could still be very attractive yet you might not be the preferred type someone is looking for. In my article why we have types i explained how people get programmed to like certain types with disregard to the attractiveness of the ones they meet
  • 2) No chemistry: Sometimes a person might find someone good looking yet fail to develop the needed chemistry to believe that this person can be a suitable potential partner. In such a case rejection might happen right after the first meeting
  • 3) Perceived threats: After the first meeting some people back off as they recognize one or more threats that could lead this relationship to failure late on. For example a woman might decide to reject a man after the first meeting if she believed he might not be that loyal
  • 4) Commitment phobia: If a person is a commitment phoebe he might follow all the steps towards a relationship then suddenly back off when things are about to get serious. See how to change a commitment phoebe.
  • 5) Behavioral problems: The behaviour of one person can turn the other person off in many cases. A person who seems too needy or clingy for example can turn another person off. Luckily behavior can easily be changed. See why women don't like needy men
  • 6) The influence of friends or relatives: Friends or relatives can influence a person's choice by making remarks about the potential partner. In many cases those people can force the person to change his mind. Those people also might have negative remarks based on one of the reasons described in this article

Could it be something else?

Yes it could be of course but the important point you should notice here is that here are many possible explanations behind each event and so focusing on one reasons is totally wrong.

Yes one of those rejections could have happened because of one of the things you were afraid of but it doesn't make any sense that you assume that all the rejections you are getting are caused by that thing you are concerned about.

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Want to know more?

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Why rejection hurts?

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