Why you shouldn't compare yourself to others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why you shouldn't compare yourself to others

One of the main reasons people who want to be self confident never get satisfied are the comparisons they always keep making between themselves and others.

Comparing yourself to others, when done wrong, involves comparing one aspect of your personality (usually your weakest one) to one aspect of another person's personality (usually a one that is better than yours). Since people who learned how to make these comparisons always do unfavorable ones their self confidence keeps decreasing as the time passes.

The critical question anyone who wants to be self confident must ask himself is "what determines the elements of a comparison?" Why was popularity chosen over intellectual thinking when the comparison was made? After all if the comparison was done slightly different the person would have felt much more confident about himself!!

In this article I will tell you how to be self confident by explaining how to do comparisons the right way.

Self confidence and comparisons

What determines the elements of the comparison is your own belief system!! Each one of us has got his own definition of how a worthy person should be like. The strange news is that a worthy person according to your own belief system might not be that worthy according to another person’s belief system.

Some of us have been raised to believe that money is what makes a person worthy, another group were raised to believe that its fame and popularity that determines a person’s worth while a third group might have been brought up to believe that intelligence determines a person's worth.

The first step you must do to be a really confident person is to examine your own belief system and to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Where did I get these standards from?: Who said that you must be popular in order to be self confident? Who taught you that?
  • Do people care about your standards?: In the Solid Self confidence program i explained that one of the main reasons people lack self confidence is that they think that others judge them based on their own belief system. Who said that people will evaluate you based on the one or two Acne you have in your face? According to your belief system you shouldn’t feel confident because you are not super pretty but according to their belief system things might be completely different!!
  • What are the standards that other people have?: You might be feeling less worthy because you are not that popular while in fact people might be regarding you as a great person because of your intelligence. Understanding the beliefs of other people more will surely help you feel better about yourself

Self confidence and your belief system

In summary, the comparisons you make are to a great extent based on your own belief system rather than the belief system of others!! No wonder research proved that most people find themselves less attractive than they really are.

Because people depend on their own belief system to judge themselves they feel less confident and unworthy. The important thing they should have thought about is: what if their belief system was based on false beliefs and unrealistic facts?

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