How to become self confident

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How to become self confident

With the presence of thousands of self confidence building methods and millions of confidence building websites its pretty easy for someone who wants to become really confident to become confused.

Should he repeat affirmations or treat himself well?
Should he set goals and achieve them or should he accept himself?
Should he think positively or make real changes to his life?

In order to become self confident you first need to understand why you are not confident. Only then you will have a clue about the right steps you should take.

Self confidence is the default state

Contrary to common beliefs we are all born confident but some of us learned how to not be confident while growing up. The first step you need to do to become self confident is to find out the situations that make you feel uneasy or anxious.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that self confidence is divided into areas and that building self confidence requires fixing the problematic area.

After all you can be confident about doing one thing but lack self confidence when it comes to doing a different thing.For example, You might feel very confident at work because you are a professional but feel uneasy around people.

Once you determine the situations that make you uneasy you should go through the following check list:

  • Do I lack a certain skill?: People feel uneasy while doing the things they can’t do well and feel confident while doing the things they have mastered. Ask yourself the question, do I lack a certain skill that prevents me from acting confidently in that situation?
  • Do I have a false belief: False beliefs defeat people before they even start doing the task. Do you think that you are a failure, a loser, a geek or even a boring person?
  • Am I making unfavorable comparisons: Are you comparing yourself to others on the basis of one aspect instead of comparing the whole package? For example feeling worthless when dealing with a popular person because you are not popular

How to become more confident

As you understand your thoughts in the situations that make you feel uncomfortable you will easily be able to alter these thoughts and become more confident.

After you answer the previous questions you should act as follows in order to become more confident:

  • Develop the necessary skills: The accept yourself school is greatly misunderstood by many people, accepting yourself doesn’t mean that you stop improving yourself at a certain point but instead real acceptance won’t come unless you feel that you have done your best. In Short, develop all the skills that you lack and you will feel much more confident
  • Get rid of false beliefs: This might not be as easy as It sounds but this article will help you identify and get rid of false beliefs so that you become more confident.
  • Compare the whole package: Its not advised that you make comparisons but if you occasionally fell in the comparison trap then make sure you are comparing the whole package instead of one aspect such as popularity, beauty or wealth. (For more information check out How to increase my self esteem)

In short becoming self confident is all about finding the flaws in your thinking process then working on correcting them.

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