How to stop comparing yourself to others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Comparing yourself to others

If you worked for 12 hours per day for the first time in your life you will feel very tired but if you worked 10 hours the next day you will feel that it’s a short period of time even if you were only used to work for 8 hours per day before that.

Our minds tend to compare things to each other and value or devalue them based on this relative comparison. This is the same thing that happens when a person who is on diet eats four pieces of cake and feels bad then the next day he eats three pieces and feels better even though three pieces are still too much.

In my Book How to make someone fall in love with you i described how the comparison between you and others can make you more desirable if you appeared to have more good qualities than them.

This can also have the opposite effect if your partner kept comparing you to the celebrities she sees on the television. A research has found that wives who compare their spouses to celebrity figures they see on the television feel that their spouses became less attractive.

The problem with comparison

Each one of your friends, peers or relatives will have something special that you don’t have. One of them might be very rich, the other may have a great job and the third might be very popular among his friends.

While you can still achieve these things through ambition and hard work you will still find yourself in situations where you will find people who have things that you don’t have.

If you kept comparing yourself to everyone you meet you will keep devaluing yourself until you end up with no self confidence at all. In order to prevent your self confidence from deteriorating you have to learn how to stop comparing yourself to others completely.

Good comparisons VS bad comparisons

If comparing yourself to others didn’t make you feel that you are less worthy than them and if it motivated you to become better then this comparison is a healthy one but if the comparison eroded your self esteem, made you feel jealous and affected your self worth then it’s a bad habit that should be stopped.

How to stop comparing yourself to others

Step One: Know that if someone has something that you don’t have then this doesn’t make him better than you

Step two: understand that a person could be richer than you, more popular than you or even more intelligent than you but this doesn’t mean that you don’t have things that he doesn’t have

Step three: Deal with the habit of comparing yourself to others as if it’s a bad habit that you need to get rid of

Step four: Build self confidence and these comparisons will stop automatically

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