The psychology of control freaks

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The psychology of control freaks

Why do some people like to control others?
Why do some people hate to let others be in control?
Why do some people threaten others or even beat them just to remain in control?

Because human beings are complex organisms you can hardly find a single cause for a certain behavior that they do but you will usually find more than one factor interacting together and ultimately leading to that behavior. (see Understanding human behavior)

As a general rule any extreme behavior is a powerful indicator that a certain psychological imbalance exists in a person's psyche. In this article i will tell you about that imbalance that results in the birth of control freaks.

Why are some people so controlling

  • 1) They lost control somewhere in their lives: Human beings always do their best to avoid experiencing the horrible emotions they experienced in the past. If a person felt helpless during an important phase of his life then he might become a control freak. By making sure that others are under his control this person will feel safe because of believing that no one would be able to control him. (see also The connection between your past and who you are now)
  • 2) To feel superior: Many of the psychological disorders people suffer from revolve around the desire to feel superior to other. In my article about women who are so controlling i explained how a human who feels inferior to men can become a control freak in order to counter that effect.
  • 3) To resist control attempts: If a person felt that others always try to control him then he might become a control freak. In such a case the subconscious mind of that person will believe that by controlling others they wont be given the chance to control him. Stubbornness is one of the methods people use to control those who try to control them
  • 4) Fear of abandonment: Some people are too afraid to be abandoned and that's why they keep others under their control so that they never leave them. The controlling abusive man who does so to his wife is usually a person who is too afraid to be left alone (see also Why do people get attracted to abusive partners)
  • 5) To Prove something: In the Solid Self confidence program i said that Some people feel weak and so they try to control others in order to feel strong, Some people feel that they are insignificant and so they try to control others to prove that they are worthy while some people feel insecure and so they try to control others to feel safe.

How to understated a controlling person

In order to understand a controlling person well you need to know a little about his background and past experiences so that you can single out the real reason behind his desire to control others.

Once you understand the real motivates of that person you won't just be able to understand his behavior well but you will also be able to help him get rid of his control obsession.

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