Why achieving new goals won't always make you confident

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why achieving new goals won't always make you confident

He is well educated
He is more successful than most of his friends
He even has a PHD degree

but the last time he was in a social gathering. He didn't find the right words, didn't feel secure and felt like a complete loser.

The man felt as if he had no self confidence and wondered, why can't he be confident even though he has done all of these achievements?

Why didn't he feel confident?

One of the greatest misconceptions about self confidence people have is believing that any achievement would add to the person's overall self confidence even if the achievement is not related to the situation.

If you learned how to play tennis and became a professional tennis player you will find yourself more confident at tennis matches but that's very less likely to affect your ability to start a conversation with a stranger.

The problem with our friend who has a PHD degree is that he thought that his knowledge and success should make him confident in a situation where completely different parameters are required.

In the Solid Self confidence program i explained how self confidence is divided into different areas and how building self confidence should be done by fixing the problematic areas instead of trying to build the overall self confidence.

Self confidence parameters

In each situation there are certain parameters that would determine your overall level of confidence at that situation.

If you were talking to friends about work, career or future then most probably your financial success would be one of the biggest parameters that would affect your self confidence at that situation while if you were trying to approach a stranger from the opposite sex then your assertiveness, self image and communication skills are going to be the main parameters that would affect your self confidence.

The moral of the story is simple, don't try to be confident in a certain situation by depending on parameters that makes no sense to that specific situation. Instead work on the problematic area by learning the missing skills that could improve your performance in that specific area directly.

When the achievement is meaningless

So many people set goals and achieve them just because they were told that goal setting is a good thing. In other words those people go after certain goals not because they really want to achieve them but because they want to feel that they are going something useful. See Goal setting tips.

Now the problem with such approach is that the person doesn't get a real reward when he achieves that goal that he chose as a result of peer pressure. Goal achievement can only increase self confidence when you get a direct reward as a result of achieving that goal.

This is why it's very important to set goals that represent your real needs so that when you achieve them you feel more confident. Do those two things described in this article and you won't have any problem feeling more confident.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

How to have self confidence

Self confidence tips

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