Blaming others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Blaming others

Lots of relationships end with breakups and lots of fights happen between close friends just because of the blame game. People usually start to blame each other when problems arise or when they find themselves unable to deal with a certain challenge.

The problem with blaming others is that it removes away intimacy and provides a good environment for seeds of hatred to grow.

Understanding the blame game

You might be thinking that people blame each other because of the mistakes they do or the actions they take but the truth is very different. People usually start to blame each other when they become afraid and when they find themselves losing control.

Its the fear of losing control that is behind the blame game. when someone finds himself facing a big problem that he can barely deal with he starts to become afraid of what might happen. This fear eventually turns into a powerful energy that can only be released through blaming others.

some people start to blame others more often when they have a bad day or when they are feeling bad and they usually blame people who are not responsible at all for what is happening to them.

before you start blaming anyone for anything that happened to you ask yourself the next few questions:

I) Is he the reason i am feeling bad? or is it just another unsolved problem am facing?
II)am i having a bad day?
III)am i afraid?

once you answer these questions you will know if you really have the right to blame that person or not and what you will find in most cases is that people are innocent and that its your fears that made you think that way.

Whom to blame?

If you are looking for someone to blame then its your bad mood that should be blamed. Its your fears, your lack of control and your worries that should be blamed. Its your life problems that caused you such emotions that should be blamed. Its your helplessness and lack of life skills that should be blamed and not other people.

I am not asking you to stop blaming people but i am just asking you to find the real things that should be blamed and then deal with them.

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