Fear of losing control leads to Blaming others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Blaming others

Lots of relationships end with breakups and lots of fights happen between close friends just because of the blame game. People usually start to blame each other when problems arise or when they find themselves unable to deal with a certain challenge.

The problem with blaming others is that it removes away intimacy and provides a good environment for seeds of hatred to grow.

Once people learn to blame others tensions arise in their relationships and they start to feel less comfortable around each other. In addition to that a person might become less productive as a result of believing that the misfortunes he is facing is the direct result of the actions of someone else.

Understanding the blame game

You might be thinking that people blame each other because of the mistakes they do or the actions they take but the truth is very different. People usually start to blame each other when they become afraid and when they find themselves losing control.

Its the fear of losing control that is behind the blame game. when someone finds himself facing a big problem that he can barely deal with he starts to become afraid of what might happen. This fear eventually turns into a powerful energy that can only be released through blaming others.

If the person had enough skills to handle the bad situations that are happening then certainly he will feel less likely to blame others. It's the fact that we are too unprepared to face our problems that motivate us to blame others for them.

some people start to blame others more often when they have a bad day or when they are feeling bad and they usually blame people who are not responsible at all for what is happening to them.

before you start blaming anyone for anything that happened to you ask yourself the next few questions:

I) Is he the reason i am feeling bad? or is it just another unsolved problem am facing?
II)am i having a bad day?
III)am i afraid?
IV) Do i feel like i am losing control?
V) Am i trying to be in control by blaming that person?

Once you answer these questions you will know if you really have the right to blame that person or not and what you will find in most cases is that people are innocent and that its your fears that made you think that way.

Whom to blame?

If you are looking for someone to blame then its your bad mood that should be blamed. Its your fears, your lack of control and your worries that should be blamed. Its your life problems that caused you such emotions that should be blamed. Its your helplessness and lack of life skills that should be blamed and not other people.

I am not asking you to stop blaming people but i am just asking you to find the real things that should be blamed and then deal with them.

Learn how to deal with uncertainty and lack of control and you will become less likely to blame others. When you improve your personal skills and became more capable of handling your life problems your brain won't urge you to blame others.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it’s a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it’s a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

Want to know more?

I am not happy with my life, what should i do?

I hate my job,what to do?

tell me how to challenge the unwanted life conditions?

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)






2knowmyself Best Selling Books


How to make someone fall in love with you.
Based on the psychology of falling in love

How to get over anyone in few days
Breakups will never hurt like before.

How i became a dot com millionaire
The ultimate guide to making money from the internet