How to end emotional pain

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Unresolved emotional issues

Do you keep obsessing about bad memories?
Do you keep remembering the bad things that happened to you?
Can a single bad event make you unhappy for days , weeks or even months?

If your answers are yes the probably you are dealing with an unresolved emotional issue. Any human is subject to going through a certain situation that makes him feel bad, No one is above that. But the problem that sometimes happen is that some people leave those issues unresolved and as a result they keep bothering them for long periods of time.

So many people try not to think about those bad events and move on. This usually results in keeping those events at the back of their minds for longer periods of time. Ever tried to sleep because you were feeling bad then only kept getting negative thoughts as you were trying to sleep?

What's happening here exactly is that your mind is trying to tell you that you have an unresolved emotional issue that you need to deal with. In my book, The ultimate guide to getting over depression i said that ignoring your problems or trying to put them behind your back will only let them backfire and appear in totally different forms such as disturbing thoughts or even nightmares.

How to end emotional pain

So what's the right way to end emotional pain?
And can thinking about the problem alone lead to improvement?

In many cases thinking about the problem alone or telling a friend about it can help a little bit but in some other cases there would be limit to the amount of relief you can get from such actions. This is why your mind keeps obsessing about the event yet you don't feel better. See also is talking about my problems a good idea.

Simply because you are doing more of the same thing that can't really help to a great extent. So what's the right thing to do at this point?

The short answer is you need to take serious actions. Let's suppose that you got bullied on your way home by some strangers. In such a case thinking about the matter alone isn't likely to make you feel better but if you took actions the next day by improving your communication skills so that you can respond back assertively or by even increasing your fighting skills so that you can fight back if needed then certainly you will feel much better.

In a previous article i said that when people feel bad they do everything they can but tackle the problem directly. Hanging out with friends, playing games, exercising or traveling are great things but they will never lead to full resolution of an emotional conflict.

Don't create an internal conflict

If your mind kept reminding you of an issue by using negative thoughts then know that this issue is very important to you and that's why your mind doesn't want to simply forget it.

By simply trying to forget an issue you won't just be delaying the soloution but you will also be creating an internal conflict between your conscious and subconscious mind.

While your conscious mind would want you to forget about the issue your subconscious mind will do it's best to keep the issue in your head.

The takeaway is, you keep obsessing about bad events because you never take actions to resolve them or prevent them from reoccurring in the future.

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