keeping yourself busy after a breakup

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

keeping yourself busy after a breakup

Whenever i find an article talking about dealing with breakups I find the “keep yourself busy” advice mentioned. This advice didn’t only stop at breakups but it has also became a popular advice given to any body wanting to get over a painful loss as if its one of the magical solutions.

So the question is, does the “keep yourself busy” approach really work? This is what I am going to explain in this article.

Why is patience hard?

What makes patience hard and why do we sometimes find it easy to be patient while at other times we find it very hard?

If you monitored your emotions you will find that being patient becomes very hard when you have lots of things to do especially if you didn’t like those things while it becomes easy if you have nothing to do or if you have to do activities that aren't obligatory.

For example, being patient at a three day vacation is much easier than being patient at three days of hard work. Simply because when you decide to wait for something your mind measures the difficulty of waiting by assessing the number of obstacles you will encounter along the way.

The more obstacles that are found (work, scheduled meetings…etc) the harder will patience be and vise versa. (see How to become patient)

So after all, keeping yourself busy can have the opposite effect if the incorrect activities were chosen and unfortunately most people pick incorrect activities to keep themselves busy with.

How to keep yourself busy?

You should never fill your schedule with activities that you don't like especially in the first few days right after the loss occurs.

If you can take few days off from work or if you can stop going to college for few days then this will have a great positive effect on you. You should keep yourself busy by doing the activities that you like and that are not obligatory so that you can quit them whenever you don’t feel like doing them.

Another question that we should ask ourselves, is keeping ourselves busy a solution to getting over painful losses?

No its not, in my book How to get over anyone in few days I explained how eliminating the uncertainty about the future of your relationship can help you get over it fast. People don’t recover because they have a little hope that things will turn good.

As soon as they realize that the relationship is over their subconscious minds will let go of the person they are attached to and recovery will happen. (for more information see The anatomy of acceptance)

Keeping yourself busy is not a solution but its something that can help you feel better while applying the solution if you have done it correctly. otherwise you will be slowing down your recovery and accumulating your problems.

2knowmyself is not a simple article website nor it's a place where you will find shallow fixes, but it's a place where you will find effective techniques that are backed by psychology and that are presented in obvious and understandable format. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself. The book "How to get over someone in few days" was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded.

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