Why criticism is so hard to take

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

why criticism is so hard to take

Why is criticism so hard to take?
Why do you sometimes feel bad when a person criticizes you and why do you feel nothing when another one does the same?

Why do you find certain comments so hard to take while you accept other comments with a laugh?

According to logic if criticism is hard to take then all critical comments coming from all people should have the same effect right?

no, that's completely wrong because there are some hidden rules that govern the effect of criticism. In this article i will explain all these mysteries to you and tell you why criticism is so hard to take.

This is why criticism is sometimes so hard to take

Criticism becomes so hard to take when:

  • It targets something you are unsure of: If a girl knows for sure that she is very attractive then a comment on her dress or looks will not affect her the same way it will affect a girl who is unsure of her looks. When you have self doubts or when you become unsure of one of your personality traits then you will certainly find criticism so hard to take if you believed that the person who criticized you is referring to that thing you are unsure of.
  • It touched a wound: If you believe that you are not smart,even if that was not true, then most probably you will find any critical comment that mentions your skills, abilities or mind so hard to take. When a person believes that he has a certain defect then all critical comments that remind him of that defect will hurt him a lot even if they were indirect (see also Why criticism hurts)
  • It came from a person who has a high total score: Each one of us has his own internal rating system which he uses to evaluate the importance of others. This rating system can be completely biased and full of false beliefs. For example a person could believe that beautiful people are more worthy than others and as a result he might feel inferior if he was not that beautiful. Now when that person receives a critical comment from another beautfiul person he will find it very hard to take especially if that comment was about his looks. On the other hand if an ugly person, according to that person's standards criticized him he might not feel bad at all!!

How to prevent criticism from ever hurting you

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that the best way to prevent criticism from hurting you is to fix your own wounds and to get rid of your self doubts.

Once you do those two things you will find that most of the comments that used to bother you before have no effect on you.

The third and the final thing you need to do to prevent criticism from affecting you is to fix your own distorted internal evaluation system. If you value people based on a wrong approach then you will find criticism so hard to take while if you found a realistic way to measure the importance of people then criticism will not affect you the way it used to affect you before.

If you believed that you are less important than others because you are a little shorter then certainly each critical comment about height will hurt you while if you valued people based on realistic factors then you will feel much more confident.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by 2knowmyself.com; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

Want to know more?

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