Why do i lack confidence

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do I lack Confidence

Lack of self confidence is one of the most common issues that people suffer from. Most of those people try to hide the fact that they have low self esteem because they are too ashamed to admit it.

I get lots of emails from people who ask me about self confidence and who wonder why they lack confidence and Even though my answer differs each time according to the background and past experience of the person who asked the question still I can say that all my answers are directed to fixing the distorted belief system the person has. In this article I will answer the famous "Why do I lack confidence" question.

Self confidence and the distorted belief system

Few days ago I went with one of my friends to a nearby restaurant. The place was so crowded because it was relatively new. My friend left me and went to the bathroom and so I started to aimlessly watch the people around me.

I found two people who were anxious because they knew no one at that place, thanks God I know how to read body language perfectly.

When I looked on the other side I found a person who was feeling uncomfortable because he was standing alone. As I shifted my gaze from a person to the other I kept finding more and more ordinary people.

I didn’t find a super man or an omnipotent human being who doesn’t have the vulnerabilities normal humans have. Even the confident people I saw were ordinary, some of them were relaxed and thinking of nothing, others were worried about certain issues in their lives while a third group was busy having fun.

But on the other corner of the restaurant stood that terrified guy who was looking at the same people I was looking at but the only difference between me and him is that he was seeing them in a different way.

He saw arrogant people, super humans who are better than him and scary ego inflated folks.

Welcome to the real world

The guy lacked self confidence because he overestimated the abilities of his peers and underestimated his own abilities.

He felt inferior because he thought that the people who were around are way better than him, he incorrectly interpreted their body signals and gave them meanings that matched his own belief system.

The guy who lacked self confidence might have been looking at the two anxious people I saw earlier but I am sure he believed they were superior people who can’t feel anxious, afraid or uncomfortable.

The moral of this story is simple, one of the main reasons people lack self confidence is that they see a complete different world other than the real one. They assign superior powers to everyone else but them and they believe that they are inferior compared to others.

In the Solid Self confidence program i explained that one of the main reasons people fail to feel confident is that they over estimate the powers of their peers. The next time you find yourself alone in between a large group of people I want you to look at them differently. I want you to try to judge them without any bias towards your belief system. Learn body language and try to interpret the body language of the people you meet and you will discover that you are dealing with normal humans.

Next time you feel that you lack self confidence take another look at the people around you and tell yourself, welcome to the real world.

You lack self confidence because you see a different world other than the real one.

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