Why do like the ones we see often

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Did you notice that you like the ones you see often?

Didn't you notice that you usually like one of the people you see often?
Even if you loved someone so much then stopped seeing them there is a very big possibility that you will forget about them and end up being with someone else.

So why does this happen?
and what are the mechanisms that lead to that phenomenon?
The explanation here is that your mind was designed to help you get attached to the people you see often.
In the early years of humanity humans used to live in tribes and such a mechanism always helped humans settle down and get married.

In this article i will explain in few points how this process works.

1- Our mind slowly gets programmed

As we keep seeing the same people everyday they start to become a bigger part of our lives. As a result our minds start to think more about those people.

Both thinking about those people and seeing them often programmers the mind and makes those people seem more likable.

2- They seem more attractive

In my book The psychology of physical attraction i said that we end up finding the people we see often more attractive than they are. The explanation is simple, when you see a person for the first time your brain has to do some work to process his looks with the exception of perfectly looking people.

As the brain learns how to see someone in a better way it spends less energy doing so and so the person seems more attractive to it. In other words, the fact that the brain does less processing effort makes the person seem more interesting.

3- We become familiar with that person

According to the Mere Exposure effect theory we tend to find the objects we get exposed to often more familiar because we feel safe around them.

The more you become familiar with a person the more that person will seem likable. In one of my previous articles i said that we feel comfortable about close friends because we feel safe around them. See how to develop intimacy with friends.

4- We forget about the ones we don't see often

As we stop seeing some people we start forgetting about them. The fact that seeing a person programs the mind works in the opposite way as well.

As soon as the programming signals are cut we slowly start to forget about the people we don't see often. See how repetition programs the mind.

5- We talk about them often

People usually talk about the people they see often. It's so common to discuss the people you see often with your close friends. In my previous article Why do people talk about their exes i said that it's usually a bad idea to keep talking about someone you miss because this can lead to further attachment.

As you keep talking about the people you see often you will become more attached to them and you so you might start to like them.

6- We daydream about them often

Even if you don't like a person much if you daydream about being with them then you will slowly be programming your mind to love them.

Since many people daydream about the ones they see often they end up getting more attached to them.

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