Why do people talk about their exes

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The broke up, didn't they?

A breakup marks the end of a relationship. After a breakup each person should be looking forward to his new life and should hardly think about their ex but this doesn't always happen.

Many people breakup and leave their old partners without managing to fully settle down their emotions and accept what happened. Even the ones who initiated the breakup can still feel emotionally charged months after breaking up.

Emotionally charged, this is exactly the term i wanted to communicate to you. In my previous article why do people gossip i said that the more emotionally charged a person is the more likely will he gossip about others.

If a person did a very bad thing to you and you couldn't do anything about it then most probably you will tell your friends about it simply because you got emotionally charged.

Now as people become emotionally charged because of their past relationships they find no way out but to talk about their exes and to mention them.

What leads to that state?

First of all it's important to note that i am not talking about the rare cases where someone mentions the good thing about their ex. This usually happens when a person either misses their ex or when a person has reached a good level of inner peace. See also Why do we miss our exes when we meet new people.

The situations i am talking about here result from being charged with negative emotions as a result of what happened in the relationship. If a person was hurt by their ex, badly treated or if the breakup left them with an emotional scar then most probably that peron will talk about their ex and even bad mouth them.

In my previous article Why mentioning your ex in a status update is a bad idea i said that the more you talk about your ex the more you show that you do care.

The word care here doesn't mean being attached or in love but it could mean that you still care about what happened to you. The things that bother us the most remain in the back of our minds for long periods of time. This is why we sometimes talk about our exes. See why some people stalk their exes

Is it right to talk about your Ex?

No, it's not a good idea.
As you keep bad mouthing your ex you will unconsciously be reminding yourself of them. Those constant reminders might increase the grudge you are holding or might even result in letting you miss your ex.

In the super powers guide i talked about subconscious mind programming and explained how you can even do it to yourself without noticing.

The more you talk about something the more your mind will think that it's important to you and so the more important it will become to you.

In addition if anybody told your Ex that you are still talking about them then this might lead to further problems. Your ex could start bad mouthing you as well as a result or they could assume that you miss them so much that you can't stop talking about them.

In both cases you will be weakening your position.
It's totally OK to feel that you want to take revenge against your ex after a breakup as long as it's just a feeling.

If that feeling turned into actions then you will also be programming your mind and you are more likely to suffer even more. The best revenge is total indifference.

In the Ultimate guide to Developing super powers you will know how to hypnotize people, seduce them, control their minds, read their faces and be more like a super human. If you are interested in getting that kind of power then check the course out.

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