Why it is hard to recover from the first love

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why people don't recover

Recovery is all about the beliefs you have.
If you have the right set of beliefs you might recover in no time.
When i do coaching for people who suffer because of breakups all i do is work on helping those people change their beliefs about breakups.

The media with it's movies, songs, poems and novels have greatly shaped people's beliefs about love and fed them with incorect beliefs that prevented from recovering fast.

If i told you that love is mysterious, can't be described, unexplained and mystical then i would just be implementing certain beliefs in your mind that would prevent you from ever recovering.

Now if i told you that love is the release of some chemicals that happen when we meet someone whom our mind thinks that he can help us meet our important unmet needs then things would become clearer.

You fall in love with people because they match the important items in your love map and this love map is all about your unmet needs.

When most people realize those facts they recover fast simply because they understand that so many people can actually help them satisfy their important needs and not just one person (See why soulmates are a myth).

Why it is hard to recover from the first love

If love itself is surrounded by so many myths then the first love is surrounded by more myths. The reason so many people fail to recover from their first love is because they have totally wrong beliefs about it.

Industries that make a lot of money out of commoditizing romance would want you to believe that first love can never be forgotten so that they can sell you their novels, let you hear their songs and watch their movies but when looking at first love from a psychological point of view we find nothing different about it except your own set of wrong beliefs.

So if that is true then why do people fail to recover from the first love?
Here is the answer:

  • 1) They don't meet better people: If you have met someone who satisfies 80% of your needs then met 20 persons who satisfied 60% of your needs then you will always keep thinking of the first person, not because he was the best but because he was the best one you met so far (See also why we miss our exes when we meet new people)
  • 2) They believe he was the one: In my book How to get over anyone in few days i explained how the belief that someone was "The one" can hinder recovery all together. As soon as your mind is attached to someone because it believes it can find no better person recovery becomes much harder
  • 3) They don't understand the nature of love: When you don't understand something positive you tend to glorify it but when you see the reality behind love you will find that any person who can help you meet your unmet needs can become your next soul mate (See why you never recovered from that breakup).
  • 4) It's their first time: When a person experiences a bad emotion for the first time he might believe that it will last forever and because that person never knows when it will end he might think that it's eternal. Ever wondered why people who went into many relationships recover faster? It's because they don't have false beliefs about love anymore

What you need to do to recover fast

In order to recover fast you need to educate yourself about love psychology and breakups psychology. Once you get to know the right facts your mind will dump the incorrect ones and your ability to recover will become much higher.

You believe you can't recover from the first love because you don't really understand how love works. This is not the opinion of someone who is trying to promote a romance novel, it's what science says.

The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

Want to know more?

Why closing a relationship the right way is so important for recovery

How your past can prevent you from recovering from a breakup

This is why you feel so bad after breakups

How to get over anyone in few days (book)

How to make anyone fall in love with me fast (book)

How to end Depression instantly (book)

How to control people's minds (Course)

How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)

Hundreds of Psychology Videos

2knowmyself Best Selling Books

How to make someone fall in love with you.
Based on the psychology of falling in love

How to get over anyone in few days
Breakups will never hurt like before.

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