Why revenge against your ex is a bad idea

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Should you revenge against your ex?

I get many emails from people who ask me what can they do to inflict the biggest possible harm on their Exes. In my article The stages of recovery from breakups i explained that anger is a normal stage that most people go through when attempting to recover from breakups, however, there is a very big problem with anger.

If you remained stuck in the anger phase then your mind might not be able to move to the next phase successfully and the recovery might be delayed a great deal. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that the speed of recovery depends upon the speed with which a person manages to go through the different stages of recovery.

If one stage of recovery took months then it will delay the whole recovery process and instead of taking few days a breakup might take few month or even years.

Why revenge against your ex is a bad idea

Do you know what happens when a person recovers?
That person usually becomes indifferent to their Ex. Indifference is the biggest sign of recovery because it shows that a person no longer cares about his ex (see also Signs that your Ex has moved on).

I have said earlier that the more a person thinks about his ex the longer the recovery process takes since these thoughts usually program the person's mind to hold on to the relationship (see Subconscious mind programming).

Now when you keep thinking about ways to revenge against your ex you are actually telling your mind that your ex is an important person. The more you think about revenge the more you will think about your Ex and the more you will program your mind to hold on to the relationship.

Yes i know your ex did so many bad things and that he deserves a punishment but do you know what the best punishment is?

The best punishment is to make your ex doesn't count. The best punishment is to not give that person any importance and to not care about them in a way or another.

What will happen when you give up on revenge

When you give up on revenge against your Ex your mind will realize that this person is no longer important and so recovery will happen much faster.

In addition any attempt to inflict harm on your Ex would be like sending a direct message showing that you are hurt and that you still care. When your Ex discovers that you have moved on with your life without thinking about him at all then this will be the best form of revenge.

Instead of wasting your time trying to get revenge work on your own self, learn more about breakups, read about recovery and fix your social life. If you did so you will recover in no time and you won't think about revenge anymore.

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Want to know more?

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10 Ways to get over breakups fast

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