Why mentioning your ex in a status update is a bad idea

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why do people talk about their Exes

Right after a breakup or even weeks later so many people write status referring to their Exes. Those status can be either direct or indirect. Sometimes the status are direct while in other cases they are more general but in all cases it becomes obvious to people that the person is talking about his Ex.

Now the question is, is it a good idea to do so?
The short answer is no. In fact it's a very bad idea.

Right after a breakup people go through the different stages of recovery mentioned in this article. If a person recovered fully from a breakup then most likely he won't think about his Ex again.

Even if that person thought about his Ex his thoughts won't be emotionally charged enough to spark the desire to write a status (See Signs your Ex has moved on).

In my previous article Why people share some posts but not others i explained how a certain level of emotional arousal is needed for a person to share a status or to write something on his social media accounts.

When that level of arousal happens a person feels motivated to publish something and so he does it. If that level of arousal wasn't enough then most probably the person will forget about writing whatever he intended to write.

Why mentioning your ex in a status update is a bad idea

Right after a breakup most people try to show that they don't care,that they are happy and that the breakup didn't affect him. When you mention your Ex in a status update you don't just show that you care but you also show that you are frustrated, hurt and emotionally aroused.

In other words all the goals you are trying to reach can be blown away by a single status update that shows how emotionally charged you are (See also why revenge against your Ex is a bad idea).

Some people mistakenly think that when they write status that show that they are happy they actually tease their Exes but in fact if your Ex has a bit of knowledge about psychology or human behaviour then it will become too obvious for them that you are very frustrated, angry and annoyed.

In a previous article i said that the ultimate way to show that you don't care is indifference and not anger (See also why some people stalk their Exes after breakups).

Negative signs are actually positive

In my book How to know if someone likes you in 30 minutes i said that mixed signals are usually a sign of interest. What i mean is that when a person tries hard to show that he doesn't care it usually means that he cares.

If i wrote a status to show that i don't care about someone then it usually means that i cared to the extent that i kept thinking about that person until i decided to write something about them. People who don't care about certain things don't even think about them.

A Taxi driver once tried to intimate me to get double the money i usually pay. The man told me "I am not afraid of your muscles". When he said so i was 100% certain that he was scared because if he wasn't the idea of being scared won't have even came to his mind.

The same goes for your Ex. If you don't really care you won't post anything about them online.

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Want to know more?

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