Why do many people feel lonely after finishing high school or college

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Done with your education? Feeling lonely?

Are you complete with your education?
Did you finish high school or college and now preparing yourself for the new life?
Are you starting to feel much more lonely than before?

Well you are not alone. A large number of people start experiencing intense loneliness in the few month following their graduation. Whether those feelings of loneliness last long or not will depend heavily on the actions you are going to take during that period.

Many people mistakenly think that loneliness can be ended by having more friends or by meeting new people but those who experienced loneliness for sometime know that a person can have so many friends yet still feel lonely.

So what causes loneliness and why do so many people experience intense loneliness right after graduation?

Why do many people feel lonely after finishing high school or college

Loneliness happens when you don't have intimate relationships with your close friends. Some of the main characteristics of an intimate relationship are common interests, openness and common life challenges.

During college or high school years most of the people in a group will have the same problems. The upcoming exam which requires a lot of studying, the annoying teacher or the aggressive professor are all problems that friends in the same group face at once.

When a group of people face the same issues together some kind of a bond is formed between them that makes their relationship more intimate. In such a case those people talk about their common problems, think together of solutions and even help each other go through them (by studying together for example).

Loneliness can never appear in such an environment because each person will feel that he is on the same ship with others and nobody will hardly feel left out. (see also Should i tell my friends about my problems)

What happens after graduation

After graduation each person usually takes a different path and finds himself fighting his own unique battle. Problems become no longer common between the same group of people because each of them develops his own special ones.

Friends can become less connected to each other when each one of them lives a different life and this can reduce intimacy and promote loneliness. So how can this type of loneliness be ended?

In such a case two things can be done. You can either share your new problems with your old friends and make sure you listen to theirs or you can make more friends at your new job to share with them what's going on in your new phase of life.

The key to preventing loneliness is to find people who are fighting the same battle as you. When you do so stick to them, share your experiences with them and you will never feel lonely.

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