should i tell my friends about my problems

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

should i tell my friends about my problem?

Does talking about my problems make me appear weak?
Will people stop thinking that i am strong if i talked about my problems?
Is it OK to tell my friends about my problems?

I am sure that these questions have came to your mind at least once before. Many people wonder whether its OK or not to talk about their problems especially that many of us were taught that people might think that we are weak if we told them that we have problems.

Before i can tell you whether you should talk about your problems or not let me first tell you about the result of a study that was carried out about this matter.

A psychologist studied the effect of rape and severe trauma on victims. He discovered that the act of not discussing the bad event that happened could be more damaging to the victim than the original event. On the other hand when victims shared their problem with others their health and mental state improved greatly.

How venting reduces bad emotions

Expressive therapy is a field of psychology that helps people feel better by allowing them to vent their emotions. One of the most popular forms of expressive therapy is talking. In fact, you can reduce the effect of any bad emotion by doing any of the following actions:

  • 1) Writing about it: Bring a pen and a paper and write down your feelings and thoughts. You will discover that your feelings will improve as soon as you start writing. One reason for this mood improvement is that a problem usually seems bigger than its really is until its dumped on a paper (see also Writing therapy)
  • 2)Singing about it: Didn't you notice you experience a quick relief as soon as you hear a song that mentions your specific problem? When you hear someone repeating your thoughts out load you will experience the same relief you get when you write about your problem (see also Why some people like depressing music)
  • 3) Talking about it: Talking about problems is one of the most popular ways of emotional relief. When you find out that someone out there is ready to listen to your problem you will feel good even if he offered no soloution. Sometimes all you need to do to feel better is to dump the load you are carrying

The right way to talk about your problems

Yes some people might believe that you are weak if you talked about your problems and that's why you must only pick the close friends you trust and not just anyone. Don't tell your problems to acquaintances or people you barley know.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that its better to avoid talking about your problems especially if you were a male in the early stages of a romantic relationship. women like strong men and if your woman believed that men who talk about problems are weak then you will lower your chances. (see also Why women like bad boys)

In addition, don't keep bothering your close friends with your problems all the time. Many people does this mistake and end up appearing needy, desperate and weak.

Its healthy to talk about your problems but unless you pick the right people, the right timing and the right frequency then this healthy practice might backfire at you.

The book The ultimate guide to getting over depression was released by 2knowmself, the book provides a 100% guarantee for feeling better else you will be refunded. 2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

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