Why are some people unfriendly

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

What extra emotions can do to people

When was the last time you met a mean person?
Do you remember the last time a complete stranger made a sarcastic comment about you?
Did someone bully you out of the blue?
Why are some people so unfriendly?

Before i can start answering these questions i first need you to become aware of the way people develop their personalities. Do you remember the last time you saw someone who looked really gorgeous?

Do you remember what you did back then? most probably you either complimented that person directly or you either mentioned him to your friends. Now the reason you must have done one of the previous actions is that you got charged with extra emotions when you saw that person and that's why you eagerly sought a way to release this extra energy.

Each tiny event that happens to us charges us with some emotional energy that we usually release later on. When was the last time someone annoyed you badly then you found yourself shouting at a person who did nothing to you?

Again its the extra emotional energy that you acquired that forced you to become aggressive with a person who didn't harm you.

Why are some people so unfriendly

The good news about this extra emotional energy we sometimes acquire is that it fades away quickly. If someone made you angry then within a day or two you won't feel the need to be aggressive or to direct your anger towards innocent people.

But there are people out there who have been through so much that they got charged with tremendous amounts of negative emotional energy that they couldn't get rid of.

Here are few examples of those people:

  • 1) The one who is angry at the world: This person is the one who failed to deal with his life problems for prolonged periods of time to the extent that he developed hatred for the whole world. Because he has more extra emotional energy than he can handle he keeps releasing this energy each day by being aggressive, bad tempered and hostile (see also How to identify haters and mean people)
  • 2) The Insecure one: Because his self confidence was damaged severely long ago he got charged with intense feelings of insecurity that made his life unbearable. That person is the one who tries to control others, push them away and defeat them using words (because he wasn't able to defeat his own problems using actions)
  • 3) The scared one: Because he got abused long ago and because he wasn't strong enough to get over what happened to him he got charged with fear. This fear motivates him to be cold, unfriendly and to push people away because he is too scared of intimacy
  • 4) The inferior one: All people feel inferior from time to time but the ones with poor copping skills usually end up being charged with inferiority feelings. Those people might try to appear strong and in control by bullying others, making fun of them, bad mouthing them or even hurting them just to feel good about themselves

Was someone unfriendly? Most probably he is abnormal

A sane and mentally stable human being will never be mean, unfriendly, sarcastic or a bully. Those people are the product of severe negative emotions and poor coping abilities.

The next time someone treats you badly for no reason know that most probably the problem is with him not with you at all.

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