Why are some people kinder than others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why are some people kinder than others

Jim: Hey mate can i borrow some money from you?
Jason: No, i am sorry
Jim: OK no problem

While people might have more than one valid reason not to lend others money or to be kind to them some people still refuse most of these requests even if they don't have a valid reason.

Why would someone refuse to do a simple task for you?
Why would someone refuse to lend you money?
Why would someone refuse to forgive you?

Some people out there seem to be kinder than others for no apparent reason but when you examine lack of kindness from a psychological point of view you will find that its strongly connected to insecurity!

Why kind people more feel more secure

In my previous article about selfish people i said that a selfish person is the one who feels too insecure to give some of his resources to others because he is afraid that this action might prevent him from reaching his own goals.

The person who is always busy and who refuses to give some of his time to others is the one who believes that he doesn't have enough time to complete his own tasks or in other words he is a person who feels insecure about the resources he has.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said many people lack kindness just because they are too insecure to give away some of the resources they have.

In 2011 Google announced that they won't make any changes to their algorithm during the holiday season in order to let webmasters enjoy their vacation. That was an act of kindness because the management of Google felt secure at that time. In 2012 Google made a drastic change to their search algorithm 3 days before the Christmas.

But why did they do so?
If you have been reading the company news you would have found that they were facing tremendous pressures and challenges during that period of time.

In other words, the management didn't feel secure about the company's future and as a result they decided not to be kind at all.

Unkind people are afraid

What if i said good things about my colleague in front of our manager then he took my job as a result?

That's a common thought that many unkind people get. Unkind people are always afraid to lose and that's why they avoid being kind. Kindness its an act that might increase their possibility of losing according to their own point of view.

"If i lent you some money and you didn't get them back then i will be in a big problem because i won't have enough money to meet my expenses"

That's another thought that could come to the mind of an unkind person. Again insecurity was the main reason that person didn't want to be kind.

Some other people refuse to be kind for another reason. Those people have been taught that kind people are stupid or dumb and because they are too insecure to be judged by others they preferred not to be kind.

While those people were not kind for a completely different reason a deeper look showed that that insecurity was still the root cause of their lack of kindness.

To summarize it all, the more secure a person feels the more kind he will be.

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