How children develop their personalities

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

How children develop their personalities

In a previous article i said that adults try to replicate the environment they used to live in when they were children if it was favorable. On the other hand, if the conditions a child was raised in was not favorable then he will try to avoid encountering the same situations he encountered in his past when he becomes an adult.

This is why a child who was showered with attention usually grows up to become an attention seeking adult (replicating the good childhood conditions he used to live in) and its also the same reason why a girl who was raised in a divorced family develops fear of trusting men (her goal in this case is avoiding the replication of her miserable childhood).

In my article What causes fears and phobias i said that a child could develop a phobia of a certain object by just watching the response of his terrified parent when being exposed to that object.

So how can these two theories help us understand how children develop their personalities?

Children develop their personality traits by selection

Based on the previous two theories a child will always try to avoid becoming like his unfavored parent and in the same time he will always try to be like his favored one.

If for example a child was raised by a helpless parent then there is a very big chance that this child will become a control freak who wants to be in control of his life. The child saw his parent acting helpless thousands of times and as a result he started to unconsciously hate helpless people.

When that child grew up he did his best to become in control not to be like his helpless parent.

If a girl disliked the role of her mother and as a result became much more attached to her father then she might turn into a tomboy. In my article tomboy psychology i explained how some girls become tomboys as a result of finding the role of their mothers boring or insignificant.

You can develop your personality anytime

This might seem confusing to many people because certainly there are helpless adults who were raised by helpless parents. Why didn't these adults rebel against this helplessness they saw their parents acting with?

the answer lines in one word: Courage.
A courageous adult will do his best to avoid replicating the unfavorable conditions he was raised in while the scared adult will give in and mimic his parent's behaviour even if he didn't like it.

In the Solid Self confidence program i said that the previous scenario is one the main reasons that lead to lack of self confidence.

If an adult became dissatisfied with his personality yet did nothing to change it then he will develop a very low self esteem.

Now the good news i have for you is that courage can be developed and that no one is born with it.

Some people spend years of their lives escaping and living in their comfort zones until they meet the right person who encourages them and motivates them to become the people they always wanted to become.

Some people ignore this chance and prefer to live in their comfort zones while others take advantage of that chance.

This article you just read is one of these chances and the final decision is all yours.
Do you want to live in your comfort zone forever?
or do you want to change your life to the better?

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.

The Solid confidence program was launched by; the program will either help you become more confident or give you your money back.

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