advice for dealing with mean people

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

The world has lots of mean people

Whether you like this fact or not you must understand that mean people are everywhere. Contrary to people who say that all people are mean you i believe that some people are good and some are real bad.

Those mean people are the ones who will usually bad mouth you, hate you, do bad things to you or even wish that bad things happen to you.

Because each community has at least few of those people you must learn how to handle them properly else they will ruin your life. Unlike many people think you don't have to be mean in order to deal with mean people but you just need to be a little smarter than them. (see also Emotional intelligence)

The first thing you need to do in order to deal with mean people is to be able to spot them. Mean people are those who are charged with hatred in such a way that it leaks out through their harsh comments or gossip.

You will see happiness in the eyes of a mean person when anything bad happens to you and he will be the first one to avoid complementing you when you do something great.

advice for dealing with mean people

  • 1) Don't seem too smart: Jealousy is the most dangerous emotion a human being can experiece for it can lead to hatred and in some cases murder. When you realize that someone is mean try not to seem so competent especially if he was many steps behind you. Make stupid mistakes intentionally so that he believes that you are no good than him then surprise him later with the results. This is also the perfect strategy to use with mean co-workers, let them believe that you are no threat to them then suddenly surprise them by the promotion you got
  • 2) Mislead them: Lying is against my core values and i believe its the same for you so am not asking you to lie but i am just asking you to give out correct information that could confuse the mean person. For example if that person asked you whether you like someone tell him that you like how person X looks without lying but don't let him know who your real target is. By giving correct information that is in the same time misleading you will let that mean person waste his destructive efforts in the wrong direction.
  • 3) Surpirze them: Lots of relationships fail before they even start because some mean people get in the middle and ruin them. In order to avoid such a problem you need to make all of your moves private until its too late for someone to stop you. The same goes for starting a business, don't announce your plans earlier because its much easier for someone to stop you at an early stage than at a later stage. Just keep your plans a secret and surprise mean people at a time where its too late for them to stop you (see also Why you should write a plan)
  • 4) Let him believe that you trust him: One of the biggest mistakes people make when dealing with mean people is confronting them. While confrontation can be the perfect soloution in some cases still its sometimes way better to keep the mean person under your eyes without letting him realize that you know about his intentions. When a person believes that he is under cover he will do no effort to hide his actions and all of his mean acts will become more obvious (see also Dealing with jealous people)
  • 5) Grow your connections with other people: Make strong connections with all other people. Again keep your progress a secret so that when the mean person bad mouths you in your absence someone delivers you the news. Don't let him notice anything about your connections with other people until its too late. Don't write on their Facebook walls for example but instead send private messages until your relationship becomes too strong to be ruined by a mean person (see also How to communicate properly with other people)

How to defeat a mean person

The more harmless and incompetent you appear the less would a mean person feel like harming you. If your ego forced you to appear strong and capable then the mean person will start working behind the scenes until he sees you suffering and that's why the best thing you can do to deal with a mean person is to surprise him.

I know its a challenge to make yourself seem incompetent or even dumb but when the right time comes and your plan gets unmasked that mean person will realize that you are one of the smartest people he dealt with and the good news is that it would be too late for him to do anything.

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