Why extra attention can attract some people and not others

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why extra attention can attract some people and not others

In my article The secret to attracting love i said that most people respond to extra attention by thinking about the person who gives them the attention more often.

This happens because people are always curious to find out why do others care about them. Usually people try to find the answer to that question in order to reassure themselves that they are worthy.

Now i am sure that it happened that you showered someone with attention only to find him pulling back!!

The question now is, why do some people respond to this extra attention by becoming attached to the provider of this attention and why do others pull away and even become annoyed when the same thing happens!

Is the attention coming from the right person?

People become obsessed with attention when it comes from the right person. In other words, you need to impress a person first before you start giving him attention else he might find your extra attention annoying! (see How to impress someone)

I have said earlier that impressing a person is all about showing him that being with you will help him satisfy him important unmet needs.

If for example a woman wants to feel financially secure then she will very likely become impressed by an intelligent and ambitious man. This will happen because this woman will believe that this man will be able to provide her with good financial resources one day.

Now if this man gave this woman extra attention before letting her first know about these traits then there is a good chance that she will pull back and even get annoyed by that extra attention.

On the other hand, if that man showed his muscles first or if he managed to impress her by making his good traits visible then most probably she will respond to the attention he will give her afterwards. (see also How can you attract someone you like)

When you should start giving attention

The best thing you can do is to work on increasing your perceived worth before you pursue someone. The more you impress the person by your good traits the more likely will he think about you more often when you give him attention.

The trick is to understand your target well and to know about the things that can impress him. Once you make sure that you have impressed him to a certain extent you can move on to phase two of attracting him which is confusing him by some extra attention.

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor a boring online encyclopedia but rather a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and presented in a simple way that you can understand and apply. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book How to make someone fall in love with you was released by 2knowmyself.com; the book will dramatically increase your chance of letting someone fall in love with you.

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