Why is love not like in the movies

By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Why it's very important to answer that question

This question might be much more important than you think. After all, one of the main reasons that lead to relationship dissatisfaction and eventually breakups is the unrealistic expectations people have for the relationship (See 10 signs you should breakup now).

When people expect relationships to be as rosy as they are in the movies they get very disappointed when they find the truth. In addition to this problem believing that the relationship will solve all life's problems can lead to serious shocks when the person discovers that his old problems are just as the same as they were before the relationship.

In short if you don't set realistic expectations for your future relationships then you would be risking your happiness, your life and of course your relationships (See why you always choose the wrong person).

Why is love not like in the movies

Why do you go to work everyday?
To earn money, right?
Why do you think someone produces a movie?

to make you happy? to spread peace and love? or to make money?
Yes you got it right. People make movies to make more money and so , many of them, don't really care about delivering the right message as much as they care about making more money.

And because some unrealistic concepts do appeal a lot to people they tend to get highlighted in movies even though they aren't even close to the truth. The soul mate concept for example is the most popular concept in movies but from a scientific point of view it's totally incorrect.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you i said that You can fall in love with anyone as long as he matches your core needs which are determined by the way you were raised and the life experiences you have been through. Now imagine a romantic movie highlighting this fact instead of trying to make it seem like there is only one soulmate waiting for you out there in the world?

Which one is more attractive?
Of course the second one sounds much better , even though it's not correct, and this is why it's used.
In other words movie producers lure you by showing you the things that would appeal to your mind the most just to make more profits (See how the media brainwashes you).

For the sake of being fair i have to point out that some producers might actually have those incorrect beliefs about love. So their intention might not be just money but they could also be promoting the wrong beliefs they were fed with as well.

Why would movies show unpleasant details

Imagine a romantic movie showing a part where a man fights with his wife over the dirty laundry, how romantic would this be?

Such small details will ruin the ideal picture of love in the eyes of people and so they are omitted. But the important question is: are those details realistic?

Yes of course they are. In other words movie producers omit many realistic details and focus on the ideal side of love just to keep you happy and satisfied. The result of all of this manipulation is that you end up with false beliefs that set very high expectations for love.

Those expectations later on turn into very serious disappointments because they are not real. Now the most important question you should ask yourself is: does it make any sense to get your beliefs about something as important as love from movies, novels or songs?

Of course the answer is no. You should get your knowledge from science. Here is everything you need to know about the psychology of love from a scientific unbiased point of view.

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Want to know more?

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Does love come from the heart?

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